>The Things She Doesn’t Know

>She doesn’t like swear words. In fact, she detests them completely.

I know that. I’ve always known that. And I’ve always kept my tongue in control. Not only around her, but generally as well. So in my last blog, where I threw in some foul language, she was very upset about it.

Here’s what was crazy about it. It’s not that she was just upset about it. I feel like the way she’s feeling transcends her anger, and she feels more like she doesn’t know me. It’s like she feels I’ve been hiding stuff from her in the last year in which we’ve known each other.

And that’s the topic for the day; Secrets.

When a guy meets a babe and vice – versa, do they let the person see everything – I mean literally everything – about themselves from the very beginning? Or do they break it to the person bit by bit? I mean, with this right now, it’s not like I was trying to hide foul language from her, it was a case of her not liking something, and me not doing it so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Was I hiding it from her? I don’t really know.

I’ve tried to let her know everything about me. From other women, to bad habits I’ve gone through in my life, to… everything. But swearing??? It just seemed so completely inconsequential, so insignificant that I really didn’t think it mattered. Like, I have rather serious control over what I say. I think so much before I say anything that it’s kinda hard for words to just blurt right outta my mouth, especially words which I don’t want to come out (even though it does happen on occasion.

Should I have told her sometime in the last one year, “Hey babes, I’m given to swearing on occasion, even though I have it totally under control”??? What would’ve been the point? And then when she confronted me about it, I made this dumb excuse “when I’m angry I really can’t control what I say.” That’s a big lie!! I always control what I say, no matter how upset I am. The truth is, I just wanted to let out, and so I allowed myself to swear.

Back to the topic.

What happens when there are some things that you do, which you don’t want the significant other in your life to know about??? For instance, I have a friend who smokes, he’s trying to quit, but he meets this girl, who later becomes his woman. And when she asks if he smokes (she don’t like guys that smoke); he says no. Now the logic behind this for him was, he’s trying to quit. So it shouldn’t matter. And in a little bit, he actually does quit smoking. Was he wrong? Should he have told her yes, he smoked but was quitting??? He would’ve lost the girl. Would that have been the ‘right’ thing to do???

I’ve always been of the opinion that, there should be totally nothing about myself that I can’t tell the woman in my life. But, there are some things that are totally unnecessary for her to know. What if it’s something that totally does not matter???

But maybe, it’s better for your significant other to know everything about you. I woke up this morning feeling horrible ‘cos I kept remembering the way she sounded over the phone. Like she realized she was talking to a person she didn’t know at all. And that kinda hurt.

But still, the argument still goes in my head; what good would it have done??? And even though I still feel it wouldn’t have done any good, why do I feel so crappy???

I guess it’s not only what you don’t know that can hurt you. What you don’t tell can hurt you as well…

Man… Guess it’s just me and my life huh???

So now, I’ve sat here blogging for the sake of blogging. Just to be able to let out how I feel right now. I don’t know… I guess we’ll sort it out… Somehow…

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

One response to “>The Things She Doesn’t Know

  • bolanle

    >okay…so u said something u don’t usually say…so u have never sworn around her…so u purposefully let out something u knew would upset her.. something u have not done before which proves u could have well done without it…so just at that moment u needed some release and u felt just saying that would ease your distress..just a little bit..okay… i figure here it was all about u at that point…. just u and the way u felt… not taking into consideration who you where talking to or what u might reveal just so u could feel at ease just for a sec….was it worth it?.. . sorry but..typical male behavior.. just u guys first eh..others after.. .. u need to consider what u say before u say it..especially for u,cause u claim u always know what say? so are u saying u purposefully did not care about how she would feel when u said it..cause u did know it would upset her…

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