>Looking Within


There’s a song I’ve been looking for, for at least, two years. I had no idea what it was called, or who sang it. All I knew was that I’d seen the video a lot on MTV but I just was always enjoying it too much to actually look at the details. All I knew was a snatch of the chorus.
I asked all my big music lover friends. Always just singing the little bit of the chorus that I knew, and hoping that someone would recognise what I was looking for.

But no one knew it.

I’ve picked up a lot of music from my friends in the last couple of months, and I hadn’t listened to a lot of it. So two days ago, trying to get my mind off some stuff which I don’t feel talking about right now, I decided to just listen to something different. So I put on these guys called Mattafix. I listened to a song called “Big City Life” from their album “Signs of a Struggle”. I liked it, so I decided to listen to the whole album. Track four comes on; and it’s the song I’ve been looking for!!! Right there, on my laptop. The last place I’d ever have thought to look. The song is called “To & Fro”. For two years I’ve been trying to find this song and where do I finally find it???

On my laptop.

It was so very ironic, that it got me thinking.
We go from place to place, from pillar to post. Looking for whatever it is we think is important. And a lot of the time, it’s right there staring us in the face. Or sitting right there in our laps. And we go “To and Fro”, thinking maybe we’ll find it here, or maybe we’ll find it there. And we hurt ourselves or get hurt by someone when we don’t find it. Or we find what bears a semblance to what we’re looking for, and we throw ourselves into getting it, only to find that it’s not what we were looking for in the first place.

Sometimes, we don’t even know what it is that we’re looking for. All we know is that like John Mayer said: “Something’s…missing, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Maybe we need to stop looking to others to give us what we want. ‘Cos if we don’t know what we want, how can someone else give it to you??? Maybe we need to look to ourselves for the answers. Maybe we already have what we need. I told a friend of mine, that before you can be loved by anyone else, you need to be able to love yourself. And then love will come find you.

So, I don’t even know if there’s a moral to this story. I think it’s just that – the answer to most problems we have lies in us. And there’s no need to run around killing ourselves looking for something we can provide for ourselves.

Look inside.

Or maybe, I’m just really happy I found this song.


About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

One response to “>Looking Within

  • mabijo

    True! We look around the world for things we have right under our noses,I’m guilty of this too. Its just like worrying,I know worry doesn’t solve anything but I still worry because it makes me feel like I’m doing something about the situation-aint that stupid?

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