>Death of Writer’s Block…


So I’ve decided that now, I’m gonna write, and nothing’s gonna stop me.

But man this writer’s block dey do me one kind o. It’s like I start out with this big plan of all the thigns I want to write about, but then when I start out, something just happens and puts my brain on lockdown. But enough of the whining… let’s talk about what’s been going on with me.

So….how far back should we take this??? I don’t know, maybe, I should start with some things that have changed about me…

Recently, I called up this babe that I haven’t spoken to in months. In fact, like maybe over a year. So we’re chatting, and then she goes “what’s with all this sarcastic behaviour??? Where’s the sweet guy I used to know???” and other things along that line…and I say to her “I’m not the boy you used to know…” (Sing along people). I mean, she knew me quite well at some point, at some point we were really feeling each other- never worked out though (hey, things happen). But it was really amusing how she just wouldn’t believe that I’m just not the same guy.

Anyhow…what has changed about me in recent times???

I’ve given up hanging with the Jolly Green Giant (know what I mean???) I mean like totally and totally (I really, really hope). I’m quite sure I don’t need to explain that…I have better things to do with my life than be getting “Jolly”. Funny thing is, I was chatting with someone today, and I told the person that I’d given it up. Response: “NO………!!!!!!! Sacrilege!!! How can you abandon us???!!!!” Someone else was like: “It’s ‘her’ abi??? She’s the one making you give it up abi???” Laugh been almost wan kill me!!! But on the real, I’ve said goodbye the Jolly Green Giant. And somehow or the other, I think that’s a very good thing.

What else???

I think I’m giving up alcohol little by little (to “her” utmost joy…lol). I don’t drink spirits anymore (goodbye Vodka, Johnny, Jack and Remy.) and these days, it’s just a little bit of wine, maybe amarula, some tequila… (To “her” total displeasure…but na small small…no be so???)

I’m trying to do things right. Get closer to God (don’t go looking anyhow now o…you know we all need that), get back in shape physically; maybe lose some weight (I said maybe. Don’t hold your breath).

What, you may ask, is my reason for this extreme makeover??? I don’t know…I just think it’s time. My fat posterior ain’t getting any younger, so I guess I gotta do what I gotta do.

But moving on…The last week was just totally ridiculous… it had it’s up’s and downs you know…

I went to school on Monday to pays school fees (No be me and you go dey queue anyhow when school start o), checked out my results….man….oh man….I can only thank God….

Tuesday was my cousin’s birthday….we had a little thing at Koko Lounge which would have been fun for me if not for some stuff that happened between me and madam that day…Man…I really don’t know what I’m going to do…Me and her keep going back and forth and back and forth…the pain we go through is totally excruciating, but then…the love…(yeah I said it!!!) the love is why we just can’t leave each other… I swear if I could I would but I just can’t walk away from that babe…I mean…one time, I actually thought about hooking up with some babes that had been giving your boy the green light (yes, I’m talking in the plural), just to take my mind off her, you know, engage in some illicit activities…and I couldn’t. I just couldn’t do it. We keep going back and forth, from happy to sad, break up to make up….I don’t think I can do it anymore….

But that’s a story for another blog.

I got into an accident on Friday…Yes…another accident!!!! And this one…na me cause am o. I wasn’t looking where I was going, and I rammed into this guy driving a fresh Camry 2.2, 2000 Model!!! As I hit the guy I just start to dey cry!!! Me wey don dey cry say owu breeze been dey blow me for head!!! Which kind gbese come be this one???!!!! So I get out of the car, take a look at Dolapo, her bumper’s really banged in, the glass of one of her full lights is shattered…I start to cry…plenty money for my panel beater o…..then I work up liver to look at the Camry (CHEI!!!! I don buy market o!!!!) Guess what????

Not a scratch!

The guy first siddon for him car reach like one minute!!! (E be like say him dey calculate how he wan take brush me as I take big pass him…) Finally him commot for the car come see wetin happen. He first look me (him see say, true true I big pass him), he look my motor…he come look him car… When he don see say nothing do am, he come ask me: “What happened???” I, in a small voice which would be unexpected from a person my size, replied: “Honestly, I have no idea…” He then goes: “Well…sorry sha.” And that’s it!!!! He drives off, and I’m thinking to myself, “Mo bo lo wo won!!!!!!! Jesu!!!! Thank you o!!!! So I drive to panel beater place… the guy first give me STRONG bill for the bumper… He come talk say, to replace that glass, go be 3k5 (cost, transport, fixing.) I said ok o, but as cash no dey my hand, I go need reach bank first, so I go come back tomorrow. So I sha go my paddy place, me and madam, my boys, and my paddy wife hang out small, we come go white house go find food chop! (Man must whack!!! Abi no be so???) Some fantastic amala, ewedu and gbegiri!!!!!!!! HYOOOOOSSSSHHH!!!!!!!

Anyways….so when I tell my friends that I had accident, one of them says he knows where I can buy that glass that the panel beater said would cost me 3k5, so yesterday, we went to buy it, and guess how much I spent to buy it and get it fixed?????


I almost went mad!!!! It’s my plan in life to KILL THAT PANELBEATER!!!!!!!! The guy wan scam me!!!! God must punish him!!!!!!!!!!!

Well sha… that’s all going on right now…. I think my days of writer’s block are over…..I’ll be writing again sometime soon.

About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

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