>She Understands, Now That She’s Older.

>She sits and she cries. She thinks back and wonders to herself, why?
As I think about her, far away, but always nearby, I remember how I told her, that she would understand one day, when she was older. And even though I was the younger one, I never stopped telling this sister or singing this song. About how her self-centered nature would one day leave her forlorn.
I could never understand where it stemmed from. Maybe the death of her mother early when she was 8 years old caused her to only think of herself, so no-one would ever desert her again. Maybe she was simply just born a selfish little girl. But whatever the reason, Chinelo was definitely a grown selfish woman. Her thoughts surrounded majorly by herself. Her dreams, her ambitions, her comfort zones….her life. She did what worked for her, never caring much what people thought. Apparently, even caring more for friends than family. “A friend sticks closer than a brother”, so she was closer to her friends. Caring more about their welfare than people who’d been with her all her life.
She gave nothing but expected to be given. Forgetting that relationships are of the “quid pro quo” nature. A two way street which she turned into a one way highway, expecting things to come down to her without sending anything out.
And this was her great sin.
I tried talking to her. But as always, being her kid sister, I was never right. Everything I could ever say would cause a fight…No-one seemed to be able to get through to her. The special men in her life could never quite figure out what the rest of us were talking about, cos she was forever doting and caring for them. What they couldn’t see was that in her mind, “Chinelo and her man” was one person. So she wasn’t being doting towards them. She had simply widened her circumference of “self-centeredness” to include them. Thus, still only caring for her.
*sigh* I warned her. About how her self-centered nature would one day leave her forlorn. But she wouldn’t listen. But now, it finally caught up with her. A fifty six year old woman who cannot understand why her siblings have walked away from her. Stubborn past the age of forty, she went past the age of reasoning, left alone with everything that she sacrificed her relationship with us for. A friend loves at all times, but a brother is there for adversity. She realizes that having friends is simply not enough…
But we were tired. Tired of caring and worrying and going all out for a person that couldn’t see why she should do the same. So, like we learned from our mom, we washed our hands off her.
Always hoping I would be proven wrong, I always told her that she’d understand when she got older…She wouldn’t listen.
Now, she’s alone…

Please note: The names in this story are totally fictional. And if we know anyone that reminds us of “Chinelo”, I really hope they learn before it’s a bit too late… I just wanted to try my hands out at writing a different story. – The Panda.

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

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