Reader, hope you’re having a good weekend so far…I’m not.
I’m…swamped with work. So much work that I don’t even understand where I’m supposed to start. I’ve been scared to even write about it cos…I don’t know…maybe writing is one of the things that matters the most to me. And so writing about it would only make this problem even more real…so I’ve been putting it off. Trying to work on poetry/spoken word…but the blocks in my head don’t seem willing to go down, or to let me jump over them to write any thing worthy of being called poetry….-although, I started writing something that I really like, and I have ideas for it…but I just seem to be stuck somewhere.- So lemme write what my brain will allow me to…
It’s been a crazy semester so far…being in final year is so much more work than I imagined that it would be. I just finished the first page of my proposal for my final project, so you can see that I’ve gotten basically nowhere on it. But I know that it has to be ready to mail to my supervisor before Monday…only God knows how I’m going to do that, all I know is that I will. I’ve got assignments left, right & hitting me on the head…I’ve barely even started studying… I was supposed to have a test on Thursday. Thankfully it was cancelled cos of some seminar thingy my department was organising. I have no idea if I’d have been able to do well on it. & when I don’t do well on a test, it throws a lot of pressure on me for the exam cos I know I’ll have to really put my back into it to knock out an A…I really hate putting pressure on myself. So…I’m glad the test was cancelled sha. At least I know a little bit more on the course than I did last week, & when I start preparing for it, the concept of projects, programs, plans, project cycles, & all that other horse shit won’t seem so foreign to me.
But…I know it’ll be aight. I’ll manage. I always do. No matter how much bitching I may be doing right now, no matter how difficult things may seem, I always find a way to make it above the line. Whether it’s 70 or 89, I’ve learned that an A is an A. So all I need to do is shoot for it.
Sometimes I wonder to myself when academic excellence started to matter so much to me…cos…I failed my way through secondary school…like I was a total failure. My old man threatened me when I was about to write WAEC, that if I failed, he was gonna carry me to some vulcanizer or tailor or something so I could start learning a trade or something…lol…those were scary times. I think, the day things started to fall into perspective for me, was the day Le Beau spoke to me. He told me that he understood me. Probably better than anyone else did. And he knew that all I had to do, was to really want something, & then work towards getting it. & nothing could hold me back. I believed him…I didn’t fail WAEC…& when I got into Uni, I put the same theory into practice…the rest is history. That’s why, I know I can do what I want. As long as I really wanna do it, I can.
So I’ll be fine.
I’m actually happy I wrote this blog. It’s sorta like a pep talk for myself….lol.
Anyways….there’s work to be done. Last weekend was just trips…parties, drinks, home-made water bongs, chics…I had, the craziest margaritta ever…damn! That drink packed one heck of a punch!
But this weekend is gonna be serious…and so is my week.
Next weekend though….!
Better be a good one… Sundays At The Bay! : “Bikini’s & Water Guns.” I’ll definitely be there…
But for now, back to work..
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