>The Dirty Man: Is It In Our Blood?

Sup people? I’m sorry, I know it’s been a while since I put up a workable post. I’ve been real busy with a lot of different stuff. I’m back in uni now so, I’m gonna have less time.

Anyway, I moved back into the uni hostels last week, and mehn… living among so many guys? Wow. I think I’ve reached the point where I have to complain.

On Friday, I asked a question on twitter that no one bothered to answer. So I’m gonna ask here. Is there some part of the male brain that is hardwired, so that he cannot understand the concept of washing a dish? Or sweeping? Or just basically engaging in some act that will render his environment clean?

Good lord. Living in close quarters with some of these dudes and seeing some rooms has been really traumatic for me.

I’ve walked into some rooms, and I had to ask “Don’t you have a room at home? Do girls enter that room? Do you ever get laid? Do you even have parents? Or did someone wank into some dirt & harvest you as a pikin nine months after?”

Yes. It’s that bad. I’ve seen some rooms in this place ehn, that I’d rather not have a bath ever again for the rest of my life, than have a bath in that room. This is not a joke. There was this time when there was water only in some specific blocks, & my roommate carried me to some guy’s room, so we’d have our baths there. Shet. The smell that hit me as I walked through the door almost turned my hair green. Let’s not even talk about the bathroom.


I entered someone’s kitchenette a few days ago, and I actually had to look around, to make sure that I wasn’t in one of those big, public garbage places. Unfortunately for me, that’s the room I go when I wanna borrow an electric pot. So I have to go there all the time. And no. I have never ever found that pot clean when I want to use it. It’s always still messy from the day before.

What amazes me, is that these dudes don’t see anything wrong in living that way. I asked one guy if that was how his crib would be when he gets his & he said “Ehn, na my babe go dey clean up for me. I’m a man nah…”

No you idiot, you’re a dirty piece of nonsense floating near the bottom of the cesspool of stupidity! Because the last time I checked, women don’t like dirty dudes. And a dirty place is a sure way to chase her off. And even if that wasn’t the case, what kinda guy waits for a woman to clean up after him? Na your slave? And then when they start complaining bout good men being in short supply, you go dey vex.

What even pains me more, is that babes sef have accepted it like that. This girl walked into my room one day, & the look of shock on her face was so annoying! As in, she was actually tripped that it was clean. She was like “everyone knows that most guys have dirty rooms.” I wanted to konk the bonkon (but she was in my room for other reasons so…*aherm*)

Moving on.

See, when I was a kid, I always thought I was the messiest dude alive. & of course, my sisters and some of my bros did their best to get me to become better and all that. So I’m not saying that I’m the cleanest of individuals. But I try my best. In fact, my room is a mess right now. But I’ll clean it up in a bit. 🙂

But really, this attitude from dudes is just sickening and embarrassing. And that concept of “my babe will clean up”?? Disgusting.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying a woman can’t clean up for you if she wants to. But actually expecting her to? Get outta here with that shit. You know the same way we want women to be able to handle their shit, and change a light bulb or turn on the generator themselves? They also want your lazy ass to clean up after yourself and not expect them to wait on you hand & foot like a kid. And personally, I think it’s a fair trade.

So fellas, I know una go dey vex for me right now, but pay attention. Being clean isn’t so hard o. You just have to work at it. I know I’m working at it. And think of one of the benefits: a cleaner place?  more women…?

You do the math.


Posted via Blogaway on my Android® Device.

About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

3 responses to “>The Dirty Man: Is It In Our Blood?

  • olawunmi

    >LOL, I feel your vexation radiating from the words on my phone screen… Very very funny post, makes a good point too. Also socks and shoes, men come back frm wherever and don't realise that having ur feet in high tops all day creates a naaasty stink, then take off the shoes and leave it in the room (usually by the door) so that as soon as u enter, ure affronted with such a painful odour, u must use poker face to enter the room, men abeg o! Also, the ish abt 'my babe will do it for me…' #JONZING. That is all.

  • Oreoluwa

    >Dude, i feel you. I TOTALLY do

  • Vanity

    >Me I dont play that nonsense oo. If I enter your room and it smells I'm walking out

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