Social Media Illiteracy.

The preponderance of illiteracy, or in this case, deliberate stupidity which has been observed over the internet, at least via social media, is alarming. And I consider it a public service to every one, to complain.
That being said,
HABA! WHAT IS IT NAH!
Don’t get me wrong. This is not about people dropping gbagauns of epic proportions all over Facebook and Twitter. Neither is it about people who are actually semi-illiterate, but still imagine that they’re going to be the “valid victorians” of their classes. I will not be insulting them today. Their “low selves of steam” may not be able to take it. 😐
No. This is about these idiots on Twitter that have decided to waste the money their parents have spent providing them with an education.
I started noticing this madness on my birthday last year. Whilst some people were saying “Happy Birthday” like normal individuals, some people decided to tweet “HBD @CapoeiraPanda”.
I thought it was a joke then. Till I saw the same thing on other people’s TL on their birthdays.
Then on Christmas Day, I saw MCM (Merry Christmas) on my TL and on Facebook. Of course, on January 1st, it was HNY (Happy New Year).
At this point, I had to complain. I mean I was confused. Was it that they were trying to conserve their 140 characters? Were their thumbs hurting? So they couldn’t type out the full thing? Were they suffering from severe cases of acute stupidity?
But it hasn’t ended there o.
Now, people write HNM (Happy New Month), and GM (Good Morning). Someone actually wrote “HMD to my lovely mum”. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY?!? Was that so hard to write? I mean, if you can’t spare the energy to wish your MOTHER a happy mother’s day, then I doubt she’s really happy to be a mother to such an olodo child. *sigh*
Today, is April Fools Day, as I’m sure you may have noticed. And @DemiladeR complained that someone sent him a message on BBM saying “HAFD Demilade.” I just cannot.
I’m starting to wonder who taught these people english in secondary school. The gateman perhaps? I’m guessing the bus driver also doubled as the school principal? No? Just guessing.
I think.the problem is that people are taking this “I’m on the internet, I can type informally” thing a bit too far. Your being on the internet, does not mean you should write like someone that has the IQ of a blade of grass. Even the “140 characters isn’t enough.” Excuse doesn’t really work for me. I’m not saying that it’s not a valid reason o. I know there may not be enough space to write. I also know that there are some globally accepted abbreviations like LOL, LMAO, LWKM, TGIF, WYCDTU, TMI, etc… But there should be limits to all this fuckery.
And recently, I’ve started seeing things like LWTMB (laugh wan tear my belle), LWMMC (laugh wan make me cum), LWCMO (laugh wan commot my ovaries)
What in the name of God is this?
I’m fed.
I think some of these people should be sued my the minister of education, for alleging to have attended schools in Nigeria.
I’m just tired.
Please, if you’re a friend of mine, or we follow each other on Twitter, and you so happen to take this post personal (ie, you actually type this way, I’ve made you feel like you possess all the intelligence of a doorknob and so you’re upset); please feel free to locate the nearest and most fertile patch of concrete in your immediate vicinity, and plant your head in it. Maybe some common sense may germinate. Because I don’t understand what is wrong with you.
If you do not engage in this disturbing manner of writing, please, spread the word to the people whom you know do. Tell them that it is pure stupidity, and they need to stop it. It shows nothing but ignorance. And acts that are repeated form the basis of habit. Most of these people are either undergraduates, or actual graduates. Let’s act like it. It’s bad enough that people say Nigerian universities produce washed up graduates. Let’s stop proving them right. Even if “it’s just Twitter”.
MIDTMO (me I don talk my own)

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

57 responses to “Social Media Illiteracy.

  • Meena

    I thought i was the only one who got irritated over this ‘HBD’ thing and to think that someone could write ‘HAFD’ is appalling!!!

    pple should not take it personal if i decide to ignore them when they say ‘HBD’ to me on my birthday! i mean, what on earth will it cost you to type HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    such fuckery *hiss*

  • Motunrayo

    U haven’t seen (lddmnfmb’laff don disconnect my nipple from my boobie?
    I jus think its plain daft..typin HBD actually makes the wish irrelevant.shows d person isn’t worth the stress.*sigh*

  • khadeejah

    “Your being on the internet, does not mean you should write like someone that has the IQ of a blade of grass.” Chit! Dis is jst classic!!!!LWMMC 😐

  • MsDuro

    Thank God we are plenty that feel this way… I actually scolded a dude on bbm coz he sent me HNM… So much fuckery all in d name of using the internet… I think it is the height of irresponsibility and pure laziness… Nice write up, very engaging read… Its a most read especially for culprits of dis new found madness…
    ILYBP *canoing to sahara desert* #okaybye

  • olawunmie

    Me I just ignore these people, they arent worth the stress, and panda’s right, the 140 characters arguement is no excuse, happy birthday ….. is hardly 25 characters. Its all just laziness.

  • olawunmie

    Oi Yemi, what is that rat-like thing that your blog has decided to assign as my picture??? u and this blog shd take time o, ehen!

  • Oreoluwa

    Just yesterday on my blackerry messenger,someone sent “I laff pour alomo on my expensive polo shirt” and it seems there are different versions of it. Its a very sad situation

  • Oreoluwa

    Yemi,why did your blog choose an angry looking monster for me?!

  • Meena

    WHAT!!! i laff pour alomo on my expensive polo shirt

    *i died*

    *pulling trigger*

    *hanging self*

    😦

  • Oreoluwa

    I’m serious,its not a joke

  • Oreoluwa

    Version 2.0: I Lafº°˚:):)˚°º≈pourº°˚ ˚:):) °º≈moet forº°˚ ˚ºmy expensive Polo shirt°˚ ˚°º≈

  • jeje

    My Gosh! Yemi, dis passion is peerless. really? The intelligence of a doorknob? ‎​‎​‎​=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)). Ok, on a serious note now, I actually reckon with ur school of reasoning, I think these acronym typos r getting rather dim-witted but I guess people would have a genuine ostentatious reason why they choose to communicate this way.

  • 'Jiböla

    Even though I revolt at such forms of apparent fuckery, I’ll still say “Die joo”

  • v3nom4eva

    That’s what happens when a Nigerian takes a simple LOL,LMAO and turns it on its head (all in the name of trying to be funny and creative).

    This post comes at a time when most folks need IM/PM etiquette. .I get the ‘touch of aggression’ too, it’s good you let it all out.

    Good read mate.

  • irky

    I think most people here are jus hypocrites or let me say, judgemental. I dont use all dem lwtmb and things cause i personally find it to “not-funny”. But i wldnt call the people write these things stupid. Who made you judge and jury over them? And if they decide to write HBD instead of the full thing, so?? Does it stop food from getting on your table? And for the fact that you use “LOL” or “LMAO”(i dont know the useless ass u are laffing off) also makes you guilty. I mean that is accepted because?? Or all the smileys now in use are accepted because?? Just because some things are unacceptable to you, u go on and call it stupidity??? Most of u guys on twitter have actually lost ur morals..Calling ignorant people stupid..my word! Hu ever thot ignorance could mean stupidity or foolishness to people who pride themselves in knowing what is right or wrong?? You could start writing out ‘laugh(ing) out loud in full then since you are not “lazy”. Please get ur morals back or take a seat ____/

    • thecapoeirapanda

      Interesting way you’ve chosen to look at this o irky somebody.
      It’s one thing to actually be ignorant, it’s quite another to take liberties too far. But I’m not going to argue with you. You have your opinions. I have mine. Especially about right or wrong. So yeah…vex all you want. Doesn’t change the truth.

      • irky

        “So it’s either your ignorant” hahahahaa! My spellings may be whack but boy!! Ur grammar is well..anyhoos u can like to stand in front of moving trailer, na ur palava be that! I mean how jobless can u get..ur mates are blogging about important things you are here talking rubbish..must u blog?? ODE!! And as for the ignoramus that said it his blog, oh pardon me!! I thot it was mine! And pls dive into that bath men! Jokers!! P.s why e dey pain?? LWMYGCLAF

      • thecapoeirapanda

        *sigh*
        Well, like I always say; opinions are to people, like IP Addresses are to computers.
        So say what you want.
        Have a nice weekend. 🙂

      • bykerboi

        Just imagine someone sending a PHM (please help me out) instead of a widely recognized SOS. U go just kill urself by urself.

    • Meena

      oh wow!!

      1. ‘those of us on twitter have lost our morals’… what on earth has this got to do with anything…

      2. definition of stupid – Slow to learn or understand; Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes <— so yes i will call poeple who use 'HBD' and 'Laff wan make me throway my destiny' stupid!!! who the hell says 'laff wan make me throway my destiny' or 'i laff pour alomo on my expensive polo shirt', please tell me how this person doesn't strike you as STUPID!

      3. the owner of this blog has every right to blog about what he wants, it is after all his blog. Anything he blogs about is his opinion and his opinion matters here cos DUH!! ITS HIS BLOG

      4. so if you decide to take things personal.. abeg u sef enter bath tub \____/

  • Tolu

    I just tweeted about this thing before someone sent me the link to this blog. I have no problem with the HBD but the remaining… People now edit their auto text on their bbm with those lwkmd idlt etc. Another thing is how people spell things like “aff” for have, “wee” for will etc. Its just silly.

    • thecapoeirapanda

      I should confess. I actually use “wee” and “haff” sometimes. Deliberately. Trying to pass off my razz nature. So…erm… I guess I’m guilty as well. x_x

  • InnoCute

    Ok I’m rili tempted to use LWTMB bt I’ll refrain nd jst go with’hahahahahahaha’ irky its all a matter of opinion nd sayin EVERYONE on twitter has lost dier morals is jst prejudiced,ur doin exactly wat u jst accused Panda of doing, generalising,I’m not takin sides or anythin but we all hav to learn to respect each odas opinion #okbye……Meenah my own small o,since laff dos make tears run down som ppls cheeks 😀

  • Meena

    @Innocute… hahahahaha… so now its LMTRDMC – laff make tear roll down my cheeks

    *I DIED*

    *SHOOT ME*

  • InnoCute

    Ah no now, don’t die just yet…thers more 😉 hehehe

  • InnoCute

    LWGMYGCLAF???? Elaborate pls :s

  • khadeejah

    We loff u Panda,don’t mind d irksome person jor, 4 calling err1 on twitter amoral u really are an ignoramus,nd u fit liedown for mainroad if e pain u mtchww…..Oh nd BTW khadeejah is innocute,diff addresses 🙂

    • thecapoeirapanda

      Lol. I’m not even bothered. Like I said. Everyone has their opinions.
      And you! So you’re now forming multiple personalities abi? Lol.

  • khadeejah

    Its not my fault,I ddnt evn realize I used a diff accnt to comment hehe

  • Olukoya

    Yemi remeber the HWA- Happy Wedding Anniversary one. Just like every other educated person has pointed out, there’s a limit to everything&if u feel4instance, your parents aren’t worth about 25characters on their anniversary then…

    • thecapoeirapanda

      LOL! You know, I completely forgot about that one. HWA… I swear that was completely retarded. But well…
      I guess that’s what we have to put up with.

  • blaquewood

    I think I understand what you’re trying to say panda. But u said it yourself that everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, so do u think it is right to insult people just because of their opinion? You even admitted that you’re guilty of some of the very same things your talking abt…you even ended your write-up with(MIDTMO) if it was a sin punishable by death we’ll all be dead including you…our beloved blogger. And its really not nice of you insulting your reader like that, I mean as a writer I’ll expect that you’ll be tactful enough to tell any rude reader to go to hell in a way that they’ll actually look forward to it…its your blog yeah..but if you didn’t want other people’s opinion you shouldn’t have put it on the internet. You should get use to things like this it comes with the terrain. Nice piece though

  • thecapoeirapanda

    You know, you’re actually right. Maybe cos it’s the first time I’ve been attacked like that for a post. You’re very right. It should come with the territory. I’ll delete my offensive comments now.
    You ARE talking about my response to “Irky” above aren’t you?
    My admitting guilt doesn’t make it right. I never considered “haff” and “wee” when I was writing this post. If I had, maybe I wouldn’t have written it, cos I’d have felt very hypocritical. But now that it’s been pointed out, I can see myself in my post. Like I said, “deliberate stupidity”. Same way I’m being “deliberately razz”.
    And scathing humor is MY way of putting my point across. Some people may like soft corrections, I do it my way. Read through my other posts. You’ll see that.
    “MIDTMO” was meant to be a sarcastic way of ending. Simple.

    Now that you’ve nicely made me explain myself to you, I’m glad you liked the post.
    🙂

  • Tolu

    =))º°˚˚˚°º‎​=))lafing=))º°˚˚˚°º‎​=))wiv=))º°˚˚˚°º‎​=))swag=))º°˚˚˚°º‎​. ​=D=D=Dlaffº˚˚°º≈wanº˚˚°º≈turnº˚˚°º≈myº˚˚°º≈brazilianº˚˚°º≈hair º˚˚°º≈to º˚˚°º≈ironsponge=))=D =D. Can you just imagine these 2 I pasted. Someone am chatting with just used them. Ah Ah. Its very annoying.

  • Chyk El-Farooq

    Una neva c “LWMMTTCEG”.. “Laugh Wan Make Me Turn To Chyk El-Farooq’s Groupie”… Nw dats one dat I approve. 🙂

  • Luminus

    I’m not even gonna comment about the meat of the post. You know where I stand on this.

    I’m so loving the “IQ of a blade of grass” bit. I need to purposely insult someone with tahr line today. Oh! Let’s not forget the “planting of the head in a fertile patch of concrete” bit too.

    I see the common sense bug finally bit you and you ditched that nonsensical Blogger platform. I remember telling you to move to WP eons ago. Is it me, or did the rate of commenting on your blog suddenly increase?

  • Nate Mamman

    Btw, a brilliant insult from the new bbc mini-series ‘sherlock’- when you open your mouth the iq of the whole street goes down. And to quote the sci-fi writer cory doctorow, there are some people that when they die, the iq of the whole human race goes up by a fraction. But enough about iqs. I do find the hbd’s annoying, but i try to watch who i am friends with on fb and twitter. I actually screen friend requests based on people’s interests, etc. And if you think that is snobbery, i quote another annoying meme to you ‘go hug transformer’. There is a name for people who take their txt talk to far- lolcatz. And the only way you can preserve you sanity is by ignoring them. We are just noticing this because the internet and cell-phones are relatively young technologies in the country. Eventually, they’ll grow up -we hope- and look back with horror at the really stupid things they did in their youth, like we now do about those baggy jeans we used to wear. In the mean time, your post needs only one response- lwcmbd. In english -or pidgin, to appease the semantics nazis out there- that’ll be ‘laff wan cos me brain damage’.

  • Nate Mamman

    And i hate it when people say ‘happy…’ whatever when it’s not a special day. I mean, happy new month (or week, or sunday) is bad enough, but happy april fool’s day? I fucking need a strong drink so i can burn that memory off my brain.

  • Madu Okafor (a.k.a Borg Simmons)

    God! I’ve shed tears just laughing at ur write up.
    Talk of “…intelligence of a doorknob?”. Wait, seriously?…lol.
    And then a post by Motunrayo —- “laugh don disconnect my nipples from my bobie”. Sh*t! That was just the height.

    …look, i have to read this again. Thanks for this one Yemi….(my stomach hurts!)

  • scruffypoet

    Wonderful post!

  • Odun

    Oh My God!!!!my stomach hurts…..

  • lade

    I’m just seeing this and i have to say that I’m happy someone has finally said it. It’s quite annoying when i see things like this. In my mind i go: ‘didn’t you go to school’?

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