10:38 AM, Monday
/*playing in the background: Count On Me – Bruno Mars*\
Hi. I’m Tomi… and this? This is my very tall friend Daniel. Jack Daniel.
I know it’s quite odd to be drinking so early on a Monday morning, but I’ve been like this since Saturday night. After my friend Cameron and his long time girlfriend Iyanu got married.
You see, Cam and I have been friends for 25 years. Before we could even spell our names properly. We did almost everything together from nursery school, primary school, right up till university. We know each other’s deepest secrets. We practically lived together, shared the same interests, drank the same beer, liked the same sort of women…even our handwritings are similar. Yes it’s that crazy.
But even though we were very similar in a lot of ways growing up, we were very different in one aspect: the way we treated women.
I grew up around women. And being the last child and only boy in a family with 6 children, I learned very early on in life that women deserved respect. So I treated them that way. Cam however, grew up in a polygamous home, with many boys, and a father who he adored. Learning from his father’s ways, he found it hard to be faithful and stick to one woman. I never even imagined that he would ever get married.
Until 5 years ago when he introduced me to Iyanu. His new girlfriend. He told me he was very serious about her. And how he wanted to marry her. The one thing he was most proud about, was that she was a virgin. “At 21? Do you know how difficult it is to find a virgin at that age? Tomi I go marry this one o!”
So he kept her well. Took care of her, showed her a lot of love…more than I’ve ever seen him give anyone else. Come to think of it, I’d never seen him show love to any girl, period. She was his precious little egg.
Most shocking of all, he never had sex with her. Even though Iyanu was obviously willing and ready for him to have her. Instead, he had plenty other “take away girls” as he liked to call them.
When I asked why he didn’t simply go in with the woman he claimed to love, and who also loved him, his reasoning was; “I want to be the only man she ever sleeps with Tomi. And the only way to make sure of it is on our wedding night. If I take her before then, she can get with another guy, and I wouldn’t be able to tell. All my father’s wives were virgins when he married them. I must marry a virgin o!”
Obviously, I was confused about this as well, seeing as Cam had disvirgined many a girl in his life. But I kept quiet.
Three years ago, Cam went to the UK to get his Master’s degree. He left Iyanu in my care. Unfortunately, he was a little less discrete in his paroles there, than he’d been in Lagos. The stories that reached our ears of his exploits with women there were many. And even though I tried to protect Iyanu from them, I couldn’t very well block her ears.
One day, she called me in tears. Asked me to come to her place. She was crying horribly. When I got there, I found that it was about Cameron and his women. I didn’t even know what to say at that point. What burned her the most, was that “my body has always been his to do with however.” She cried. “But he’s always refused. Yet, these chewing gum girls get the one thing I’ve always wanted…for free.” I did my best to calm her down. When she finally stopped crying, she went to pour us drinks. Some fantastic Johnny Walker Blue Label. I wonder where she got that… but I deviate.
We talked about everything. About Cam and me growing up, about my work, about hers, sports…everything. I even managed to make her laugh. One drink led to another…one laugh led to another… please note. Iyanu is everything a beautiful woman could be. Cameron and I definitely have the same taste….anyway, one drink led to another, and the next thing I knew, I woke up on a bed with blood stained sheets…Iyanu’s and my body intertwined.
Fuck. I had broken my best friend’s precious egg.
We could never tell him. He could never find out. She took up horse riding. So if he ever found out, she would claim her hymen had broken without her knowing. She was confident that he’d never find out.
He got back to Nigeria last year. The wedding planning began.
While everyone was eager for the day to come, I dreaded it. And come it did. On Saturday, Cam & Iyanu got married at Our Saviours Church. Reception at the Civic Center in VI. It was a really big thing. Of course, as the best man, I had to give a toast. I’ve never felt as hypocritical as I did at that moment when I raised my glass.
And from then, I went straight to my hotel room and hit up a conversation with Jack here (or well, one of his many twins).
I simply sat all night…drinking. waiting.
5:57 AM, Sunday.
He called…I can’t even remember the conversation (I was still drunk). All I remember is that she confessed to losing her virginity to another guy. She just didn’t tell him it was me. He asked me to start preparing papers for an annulment (did I forget to mention that I’m a lawyer? Sorry. It’s the Whiskey)
I told him not to be too hasty… I’d see him on Monday… and fell asleep.
I’ve been drinking since then. Yes, I know it’s Monday morning and I look like shit. I’m sitting in the hotel bar, looking at the bottom of a bottle.
Cam is on his way here…with Iyanu and their parents…
What do I tell him? Not to call off the wedding? That I was the one who robbed him of the privilege he’d waited 5 years for?
Barman! Turn that damn song off! It’s giving me a headache…
I didn’t actually plan for this post to become a short story. Or maybe I’m taking a subconscious cue from @thetoolsman’s style of blogging. Whatever. This post was supposed to be about guys like Cameron. Who screw about, but still expect to marry a virgin. What’re your thoughts on that? And about Tomi…what do you think of his predicament?
Please leave comments below. Thanks 🙂
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