It Was the Househelp

“Shhh! No make noise. You know say your papa dey house.”
She took her hand off his mouth after she was sure he wouldn’t make noise. She’d startled him when she tapped him to wake up.
She sat down on his bed, giving him this odd smile that his eight year old mind couldn’t possibly understand.
Anwuli had come to the house three weeks ago after Tayo, the last househelp, had left…to get married…that’s what mummy said… Tayo had taken care of him since he was two years old. So getting used to Anwuli had been a bit difficult.
But Anwuli was nice to him. She always added an extra piece of meat in his plate when his mother wasn’t looking…and she didn’t tell his daddy that he was watching TV when he was supposed to be doing his homework. And she was very friendly too. All the male househelps and the guards in the neighborhood were always coming to say hi to her when his parents were not at home. And they would all play together when he got back from school. There was always one man or the other in the house when he got back. Sometimes they would look sad when he came in, he never understood why.
But he liked her. She was his Aunty Anwuli.
That evening, after dinner, she told him he didn’t have to help her wash the plates. That he could go watch TV a little before he went to bed. Then she gave him some biscuits before he went upstairs to sleep.
There was still sleep in his eyes when she untied her wraper. He thought maybe she’d dropped it by mistake again, like she did last week when he walked past her bathroom as she was coming out. So he turned his face.
“Rogba why you dey turn face? Look me joh.” She giggled. So he turned. She had big breasts, and a lot of hair between her legs. How come he didn’t have any hair down there?
“Rogba, shey you go fit help me? My body don dey do me one kind since morning. I just want make you help me do some things.”
“Ehm, Aunty Anwuli I don’t know… I’m tired…”
“Rogba so you no wan help me abi? Me wey I give you biscuit this night when your mama talk say make you no take…”
Well… she was always nice to him so… “Okay Aunty…” she smiled again. “You be good boy. Oya. This my breast don dey pain me since morning. Help me rub am.” He wasn’t so sure he liked touching her like that but well, she needed his help. “Harder na…you be strong boy. Ehen! Ehen… pinch am for here…use your two hands.” He looked up at her. She had a big smile on her face, so he continued.
“Oya come.” She leaned closer. “Put am for your mouth.” He stopped. “But Aunty I don’t wa—” She looked at him. “I go tell your papa say na you break that plate yesterday o! Oya suck am. Bring your hand.”
She took his hand and put it in that her hairy place. It was very wet. He didn’t like it. But she was smiling as he was rubbing it…she was his Aunty Anwuli..
And then, he felt it. His “John-Thomas” (that’s what mummy said it was) started doing somehow. It was getting hard…it was painful…but it was… good… Aunty Anwuli noticed it and laughed quietly. “So you sef you like am. You be bad boy.” She reached out and started rubbing the little thing.
“Oya put your hand inside. Oya commot am. Oya put am back. Ehen. Like…like that.” He was moving his little hand in and out. Faster. She was covering her mouth and moaning. Was it paining her? He wanted to stop but she told him to continue. She was shaking. And then, her eyes rolled back in her head for a little while.
“Aunty? Are you okay?” His hand was trapped between her legs. Then she relaxed again and let him go… she got up and put her wrapper back on and rubbed his head. “Good boy. Oya go and wash ya hand and come sleep.” As she tucked him back to bed she smiled at him again. “Rogba Rogba…I go dey help you, you go dey help me ehn? Make sure you no tell your mama and papa ehn? Next time, you go lick am well well.”
She was his Aunty Anwuli, and she was nice to him. He just wanted to help her.

“That was 15 years ago. My first sexual encounter.” Rogba told his new shrink, Tracy. “And the first of many over the three years that Aunty Anwuli was with us.” Tracy looked at him with sad eyes. “Now I see why you have troubles with relationships…that was your first one. But didn’t you ever tell your parents?” He smiled bitterly. “I tried. But they were always ‘busy’ most of the times when I would help Aunty Anwuli, that would probably be out at work somewhere…” Tracy just stared at him…. “They never did find out… I was her little secret.”
END

So last weekend, I wrote First Date Force, dealing with rape issues. And some people said that guys never suffer through rape or abusive relationships. Now while I’ve never heard much about guys being raped (except for the odd stories of security guards raped in Queens College. Lol), I know that many boys suffer abuse as kids. I do have many friends that were abused by their househelps, kinda like I’ve written. And it really messed up their perception of how relationships and sex should be handled.
So, what’re your opinions? On lil’ boys being abused, on inattentive parents under whose noses it happens …
Please comment below, and feel free to subscribe so you get my updates as they are posted.
Happy New Month everyone.

Posted from WordPress for Android®

Advertisements

About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

45 responses to “It Was the Househelp

  • nerdy

    *sigh* you know… this issue of sexual abuse really has to be looked into.
    sometimes you cant really blame the parents, pressures of life and all, plus the way kids grow up these days, you may not even notice anything wrong in all of the activites.
    but of course more can be done…
    okay i’ll go now 🙂

  • loba

    As usual we girls like to make more noise when its us getting hurt,
    but even the guys don’t usually think of it as rape or whatever it’s called, because most of the guys I know talk about these things are usually proud of themselves that d househelp or an older cousin/friend disvirigined them.
    I should stop now.

  • warrisurown

    This is fast becoming a trend in today’s world…imagine a situation where both parents work in the bank *disaster in the making*. Most people focus on the girl child when the abuse issue is brought up, you will be shocked at the number of male victims, and how much they hurt deep inside.

  • nobs

    A lot of us went through this and more are still going through same.
    It does not provide us with a special “first time”
    nice 1

  • femi femora

    A brilliant piece…very enlightening and thought-provoking. i had no idea you were this talented. kudos

  • The Stig.

    Hmmm…

  • Bee Alake

    Yes this is an issue. Young boys also suffer from rape and abuse. It is important to note that, on average, for every 1 boy raped or abused, 9 girls are raped or abused. Men can only be victims of rape for so long. Women on the other hand, are victims of rape their entire lives. That is, women are more vulnerable to rape than men.
    Rape/abuse should never be condoned. Male and female rape/abuse alike.

    PS: FOR ALL THOSE WHO BELIEVE WOMEN SHOULD COVER UP MORE TO PREVENT RAPE, HISTORY AND STATISTICS SHOW THAT RAPE OCCURS IN HOUSE. MOSTLY BY A CLOSE RELATIVE OR SOMEONE WHO KNOWS A LOT ABOUT THE VICTIM.

  • chinnydiva

    9 out of 10 guys experienced this. However, unlike girls who get hurt from encounters like this, most guys I’ve spoken with were very cool with it. They said it made it less awkward for them when they aactually had sex w/ girls their age. So I wouldn’t really peg it as abuse.

    Nicely written Panda.

  • Biola

    I don’t think it’s fair to always put the blame on parents. The molester adult usually threatens the child which is why they keep quiet. Parents aren’t omniscient and most times it’s the kid that doesn’t want to talk. My mum is a single mum so u can imagine how busy she was. 1 day my lesson teacher for no reason started massaging my foot. I was about 10. I did not let it go any further than that. Immediately my mum got back from work I told her. And I never saw him again.
    All I am saying is stop pointing fingers. Not all househelps are evil and some can be gems. All parents need to do are random check-ins and ensure their kids can talk to them. Even family members can’t always be trusted.

    • The Capoeira Panda

      I’m not pointing fingers here. If you read above, you’ll see Tayo was the old househelp, and there were no issues. And parents aren’t always to blame. Sometimes they don’t know. But again, in this story, Rogba tried to tell them. They were “busy”.
      I never point fingers. I’m just asking about the amount that are in fact, bad.

  • @osinubi

    This kind of thing happens far more often than you’d think, a family friend’s 10 yr old boy was recently violated by…get this, a man.
    When we finally lose the infantile compulsion to be macho at all times, you’d see just how prevalent rape is..
    Sadly parents seem to forget how soon puberty comes nowadays…until one day ‘junior’ has his own junior!

  • thedivadrama

    I have always thought there was a lot of pain behind the cocky grin at’I have been fucking since I could walk’Guys don’t play the victim game n its rather sad that everyone ignores this pain!Thanks panda for bringing it to the fore!

  • Doyin

    This problem is getting worse. The kind of people that parents expose their kids to can change their lives forever. Boys who were abused as kids have problems if the matter is not addressed on time.
    Well written. Well done

  • molt

    Anwuli..looool.. Nice post man.. Went through a similar situation. But I’m not sure its the reason behind my failed past and present relationships. I won’t blmae his parents though..

  • vixenpixie

    The story is well written, captures his confusion and her pleasure. This is a popular story amongst guys and should be handled as importantly as rape. More than her sexual satisfaction is her sense of power at manipulating him. Anyway, its good. *kisses*

  • fairy godmother

    I know of sum1 dat was abused as a boy wen he was younger, he has commiment issues… Just like every girl that was abused he has pushed the matter to the back of his mind, wanting to forget, but u don’t forget such!!! Am happy Rogba is talking to a shrink already, same advice I gave dis person… Talk abt it, that’s the 1st step to healing, tho the scar wld always b dere, but it won’t hurt no more…
    Nice post Yemi…

  • turrbomaximusIII

    Welldone brov! A breath of fresh air from ‘the girl is always the victim’ stories, I know quite a few rogbas and now that I’ve read this I can now see the bigger picture. Good stuff.

  • SlevinCalevra

    I remember the first time I saw our house help drop her towel coming out the bath. I ran to tell my parents she was a witch cos she had hair down there… They just laughed it off! Later found out she did it on purpose and they sent her packing. None of our house helps molested me tho’. That was Aunty Patience’s (next door neighbour) job. I was one of those who wanted to read abt the molestation of the male child. Definitely more common than we think. Nice write up dude!

  • donsege

    Its crazy cos d regular nigerian boy child who duzznt even know his rights wouldn’t know it was abuse till he’s in like ss1. . . Sad

  • donsege

    For those sayin its not that bad, wat if d p-itching houselelp has some sTd or Aids or worse. . . is a witch O_O

  • kcollins

    Wow.. That was dejavu.. Only difference is I was 11 and with a “married” Cook in her 20s said to have been forcefully married off to a much older man.. She started with porn magazines and taught me all…(I’ll spare you guys the details) we use to do it during the day, after school or during holidays.. I told a class mate/family friend who tried experimenting it at home one day.. he got caught, ratted me out, she was fired and our ‘play’ ended…. Now I feel it wasn’t the right thing I should’ve been doing back then… Till date it made me stop having/trusting guys as friends, or confiding in relatives.. Secondly I find myself getting helplessly submissive/attached to certain women and finding some others a bit repulsive..

  • Oma

    I really liked Beealake’s comment. Nice read. That said,it’s amazing how many pervs there are on this planet. I seriously wonder what could be satisfying about having sexual activites with a pre-adolescent boy. It’s also nice to shift away from the usual female rape/abuse cases. My deepest sympathy to Rogba but the truth is that boys actually enjoy it. Maybe not at the moment but I’ve met loads of guys who gloat about how they were disvirginned by a maid or elder sis friend or neighbour. Hardly any of them seem to think they’ve been traumatised unlike their female counterparts who are haunted for life. But finally,abuse is abuse and should not be condonned.

  • the boy with no name

    same thing happened to me. patience was nice and all but i really had no idea.boy toy i guess 😦

  • musingsofagidimallam

    Greatly written Panda…tight stuff…but hey dat’s d norm for u…
    On to d matter at hand…d fact dat both parents hav to hustle to make ends meet dese days makes househelps a necessity…dat bein said it’s upto d parents to scrutinise who dey hire…I agree wit Chinny tho…guys r mor likely to adjust n move on…
    Solution, parents r gonna hav to squeeze out time n build rapport wit deir kids…dat’s d only way deir kids can open up bout stuff like dis…#nuffsaid…

  • slimsiren

    Nicely written, although I cannot make the connection…how does this affect his relationships?

    What about the girls that get ‘raped’ by security men nko? Lots of pedophilia in that nigeria, due to the suppressed sexuality and all those fronting babes…

  • Chyk El-Farooq

    My househelp tried tis wf me.. Told me to put two fingerz in her kwazambi & u know wat?! Exactly… 🙂 … I didn’t put my fingers in her mulele… I put my Kwadumbe. 😀

  • ThinkTank

    Hmmmmm. Yeah. I believe guys suffer as much abuse, heartbreak, body issues and stress as the female folk but right from birth we’ve been told “keep your chin up!” “Dont cry, youre a man!” etc… so we internalize everything. Girls on the other hand, speak more.
    I dont think the statistics on abuse are correct. I think guys just never report many of them. We take it, internalize and press forward. the cracks only show in our dealings with others, girlfriends/wives especially, bear the brunt of the suppressed feelings. No wonder men have a shorter life expectancy than women worldwide. We die from the inside. 3 gbosa for the Panda. I owe YOU a bottle of alomo for this one.

  • cecenostockings

    Well, everyone’s said pretty much everything there is to say. I have a lot of male friends who talk about being abused this way, and they say they’ve dealt with it. However, I have a question. it’s definitely abuse, but is it really rape? I mean, if you agree to do it (blackmail or not) your consent kinda cancels the rape factor out, right?

    • The Capoeira Panda

      It’s not rape. I never said it was. Remember I said I’ve not really heard of many male rape cases. But I have heard of abuse.
      But in this case, the boy didn’t want it. He was blackmailed in a sense. And that is a form of rape. But that’s a discussion for another time…

  • samanthasiren

    Man Anwuli needed some love!
    I’m sure very very many Nigerian dudes can relate to this.
    The thing I don’t understand is…why didn’t these house helps just sleep the the “mayguards” or washer men instead?
    Sick.

    Ps- So funny to think an 8 year old could get a hard on

    Nice post Panda.

    • The Capoeira Panda

      lol. Babe you’re confusing erection with ejaculation. Even little boys can get erections. It’s just that nothing happens to trigger it at that age. It becomes crazy when puberty hits. That’s when things like “The Morning Wood” begin…

  • marie

    Nice 1 Panda. This is an issue which is usually overlooked bt happens frequently esp wit more parents depending on ‘helpers’ to take care of their kids. Parents need to take time out 2 talk 2 deir children n create an atmosphere where deir kids ‘ll be able 2 confide in them. *thumbs up*

  • missfeisty

    It is definitely rape! How can u have sexual intercourse with a ten year old boy and not consider that rape, consent or not, you are clearly taking advantage of that child because he is too young to understand or even phantom what is going on, so yes that is rape, irrespective of whether he enjoyed it or not.

  • afrosays

    Aunty Anwuli…

    I probably shouldn’t be saying this but I have a lot of questions. If humans are higher animals, then they are first animals.

    As an animal, (let’s push the rules associated with living in a community of animals aside) what is the acceptable pattern to these things? When is one really old enough? Biology says 12, 13. What is innocence? Why isn’t it a virtue among adults and why do we pretend kids are really clueless?

    That aside, as a higher, intellectual animal, I wouldn’t like for that to happen to my kid brother, or my son.

  • oji nna

    ABUSE ON BOYS DID NOT START TODAY. WOMEN MARRIED HAD ABUSED THEIR MALE HOUSE HELP OR THOSE SERVING THEIR HUSBANDS AND IS STILL HAPPENING TILL THIS DAY. SCHOOL FEMALE TEACHERS (SOME) HAS BEEN ON IT EVEN TILL THIS DAY. ELDERLY HOUSE HELPS DO IT MOST OFTEN AND GET AWAY WITH IT. I HAD THIS EXPERIENCE WHEN I WAS A BOY LOOKING AFTER MY SISTERS SON. THE SISTER TO HER HUSBAND WILL ALWAYS WANT ME TO SLEEP WITH HER IN HER OWN ROOM AND WILL SUBJECT ME TO ALL HOURS SEX TILL DAY BRAKE. I WAS JUST ABOUT 6YRS AND SHE WAS A GROWN UP LADY WITH HAIRS ON HER. EVEN HER SENIOR SISTER ONE DAY TOOK ME TO BED. A GROWN UP BIGGER LADY THEN. YOU SEE I HAVE WANTED TO CONFRONT THEM BUT SINCE I GREW UP BUT HAVE NOT SEEN THEM. THE TRUTH IS THAT MORE BOYS ARE BEING ABUSED BY THE WOMEN AND BECAUSE SOME BOYS WERE ENJOYING IT OR AFRAID TO SAY IT OR GIVEN A LOT OF GIFT MAKES THEM NOT SAY ANYTHING. A FRIEND ONCE TOLD ME HOW A GROWN UP GIRL WILL CARRY HIM UP TO HER CHEST AND WILL BE PRESSING HIM HARD ON HER ALL THE TIME SHE SEES HIM WITH OUT HIM KNOWING WHY. THE WOMEN FEELS THAT SINCE BOYS CANT GET PREGNANT, IT IS SAFE FOR THEM AS LONG AS THE SECRET IS KEPT SECRET. WOMEN YOU HAVE DERAILED THE FAMILY FORMING OF A LOT OF MEN DUE TO YOUR JEZEBELIC BEHAVIOURS. ONLY GOD SEES WHAT YOU DO.

  • Terdoh

    Hehe. This story reminds me of what happened when I was 6. Except my dad caught her in the “act”. If he didn’t I probably would have had several sexual problems now.

    But personally, I don’t think the blame lies with anyone. The folks are busy, the children (boy or girl) are pretty naïve, (all they know is that what they are doing is wrong), and the village housegirls are usually horny individuals.

    Its a fast growing trend and the only thing that can stop it is God. (And probably the unemployment of a parent).

  • vee

    i have male friends who were victims of abuse n contrary to popular belief, they hate it, they really do. God have mercy on us.

  • mabijo

    This is child rape/abuse and it happens to both the guys has well as the girls. It doesn’t even help while trying to deal or prevent it as a parent to decide to have a male help because you have a male child since you don’t know the house help’s preference. Parents should pay more attention to their kids and not be too busy.

    And wats with this Queen’s College story? Please that aint the only all girls school in Lagos!!!

  • anon

    Stuffs like dis reallyinfluence our perception of relationships later in life. I’m definitely a victim..might need to see a shrink too ..cant seem to trust any of my partners…
    I definitely do need help!!
    May God forgive all dese wicked pple!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: