All About Outer Beauty

“I believe beauty is invested in the soul within, and not in the hues with which God may choose to paint your skin.”
These are some of the many beautiful words Jimi said to me in our many conversations. Conversations that would go on for hours and hours as we learned the intricate details of each other’s very existence.
I loved talking to him. Smart, witty, charming … he was everything I’ve never had in a man.
We started chatting two months ago, after I put up that post on my blog. He followed me on Twitter, said he liked the way my mind worked. Well, I followed back. The DM’s began, and very soon it transcended to phone calls. No, I do not use a Blackberry. I find the constant BBM thing annoyingly impersonal and frankly, I can’t afford the 5k per month & I’m not a fine girl so there’s no maga lined up waiting to pay for me.
Yes. I said it. I’m not good looking at all. I may have a good body, slim waist, round behind & nicely shaped breasts, but I found early in life, that it’s not enough to make any guy wanna look at me. And the ones that do, don’t want to be seen in public with me. Don’t worry, I know. And I’ve accepted it. I don’t bother with the “created in God’s image” crap that everyone spews. I don’t want to believe God has a face that never inspires any other sexual position besides “doggy”.
But Jimi was different. He said he loved my mind. He said he didn’t care how I look. I tried to warn him, but he kept saying he wouldn’t focus on outer beauty. He refused to let me send him my pictures. He said he’d “rather let your voice and your written words paint a portrait on the canvas of my imagination”
*sigh* such beautiful words…
We decided to meet, after like 3 weeks of talking everyday. We made plans to catch up at E-Center, and then go to a bar somewhere close. He said he looked forward to it… so did I. Finally, someone who wouldn’t be ashamed to be with me.
The day came, I did the best I could to look really good (fat chance), and set out to meet him…
I got to E-Center, sent him a text.
Me: “sorry I’m late. Just got here, where are you?
Him: “I’m on the cinema floor with a friend. Come up 🙂
Me:“Okay, what’re you wearing?… so I know who I’m looking for.”
Him: “Red & blue T-shirt, black jeans.”
I saw him immediately I got up. Casually good looking, tall, nice body, amazing smile… I walked around so I could come up behind him. I heard him talking with his friend… that voice! The voice that had kept me awake for so many nights…
I tapped his shoulder. He turned around…
“Hi, Jimi. I’m Rolake.” I said with a smile.
The smile left his eyes. Replaced by… shock, dawning recognition…and, as he looked at his friend, embarrassment.
“Jimi? Rolake? We spoke on the phone? I just texted you?” I said …wondering what was going on.
And then he said it; “Sorry, I don’t think I know you…”
Nothing could have prepared me for this. “Jimi how can you not know me? Abi, isn’t your name Jimi?” I asked him with obvious confusion on my face. He looked at me, & I could see the shame on his face as he said “Yeah, I’m Jimi. But I really don’t know you. Maybe you havr the wrong Jimi. Sorry, we’re late for our movie. Tony let’s go.”
And he turned and left me standing there.
He sent me a text 5 minutes later, with only two words; “I’m sorry.
I never heard from him again.

A lot of times, my friends and I have joked about meeting a girl for thw first time, and she wasn’t good looking, we’d form not knowing her. I thought about that recently, and the sheer superficiality of it worried me. So this, this is the possibility of how the shoe might feel on the other foot.
So what do you think about all this? Rolake, Jimi? Share your comments, and if you have any similar experiences you wanna share, please do.
Have a good weekend people.

Posted from WordPress for Android®

About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

39 responses to “All About Outer Beauty

  • @Jacy_luff

    Eeyaaaa!! Poor Rolake, I feel her pains but I’m wonderin how ugly can 1 be to get so rejected always…Well, one word for Jimi & his likes— Douche-bags!

    Btw, dis is a nice piece..iLike!

  • themusicircus

    Wow Panda…you struck a nerve there. I find it embarrassingly juvenile when things like that occur. If he wanted to blank her, he should’ve just faded and lied that he was actually in traffic or something. No continuity…rookie. Lol. I give kudos to some brave women. Lol @ ‘having a face that only inspires doggy’. Answer me this though, why aren’t babes as harsh?

  • loba

    Thankfully, I look good, so I have never had such experience before. I don’t blame jimi for denying her but my problem with him was that she warned him and he said he didn’t have a problem with it. That’s just a stupid cowardly move.

  • thetoolsman

    LOl.. yup.. joked about this alot of times but it would take someone truly heartless to do what Jimi did. With all the forms of technology available nowadays you really have no excuse.. theres twitter to learn how he/she thinks.. facebook for looks and well, history and ultimately, skype for erm….
    I think I’ve said enough.. nice one Panda…

  • @osinubi

    Beautiful, beautiful work Panda

    ‘Painted on Canvas’ Jimi seems callous, but HE is exactly what a we are, what we tweet, what the idle words we use in conversations are.

    And yes, this pendulum swings both ways, babes I know’ll tweet something like “dead guys in here, well *blank stare*..”

    Its may be funny or unfair, but it is always human. We are wired this way. Its just one of those things we look at and say-

    c’est la vie

  • awizi

    Pretty interesting stuff..that’s reality right there.

    “He said he’d “rather let your voice and your written words paint a portrait on the canvas of my imagination”

    You know, it’s easy to be this expressive..the mind is so capable of creating such a beautiful picture because really,it is that spiritual part of us that truly “sees” real beauty. The fact remains that to a large extent physical beauty does mean a lot to the vast majority.
    I had an experience once. Same scenario (well slightly, *insert only MTN midnight calls here*). The day I met the girl I was shocked.I had never met a girl so skinny in my entire life, and she was not at all pretty. After that experience I stopped talking to her altogether. Does that make me mean? Maybe. I’m happy to share because a lot of us have had similar experiences. Eventually it made me re-evaluate the reasons why I should genuinely like a girl, and after giving it serious thought I came to a conclusion that a beautiful mind makes all the difference in the world. *feel free to insert yimu here* 😀

    Nice one Panda!

  • Kelvin

    Oh wow! Now this is just wrong,(this is dizzle writing o) I once met yp with a chic at E center too for d first time..same scenario, she was great and all, goodlooking but not one to “look up to” I did d nice thing..paid for d 2 movie tickets but chilled with other friends outside while she watched..d money pained me sha..and it was a public holiday sef so d price increased
    She enjoyed the least.
    Oh BTW, I’m off to E-center now *wish me luck*

    • jadesola

      LOL!! And d babe still watched the movie?? With u hanging outside?? That one na “Ebina”, Elebi, or I neva chop!!! *4giv the razz ramblings–jus had to xpress myself!!

  • kechilauren

    Nice one panda, as usual..jimi is wicked sha. So her beyonce figure cudnt compensate?no?.even for one date..
    When he was forming poetic there, nt wanting to see her face but preferred to paint…yadaa yada..he nw hurt the poor ugly girl.:(
    I feel sad for the Rolakes of this world.some shaallow pple wud rather hav them in their closet than in public

  • jadesola

    Say what now?? That kind of ugliness exists?? With even a good body?? I thot guys were all bout the boobies and booties..well twitter makes me think so! Anyways in as much as I feel for rolly I can’t say what jimboy did was absolutely wrong..we are humans and we like all things beautiful or at least presentable..and heck! He was with a friend that wld later say “guy u fall my hand”!! Nice write up!! At least a break from all the deep deep blogs of late

  • cecenostockings

    Is it bad that this post makes me want to laugh? Gosh. So many memories, but I doubt anyone here wants to hear my life history.

    But, actually, I’m finding it difficult to place Jimmy. He’s defo a douche for pretending not to know her, but it’s his fault. Shey she told him she wasn’t fine? But I bet he was probably thinking she was just doing that thing girls do. But he should have let her send him a picture. At least he apologised.

    Either way sha, lovely write-up. 🙂

  • Orikanfilameji

    Man, I feel for Rolake o. But honestly, man, I’ve learned not to judge. I wouldn’t do what Jimi did, but I’m sure I’d feel that way inside. Which is why I don’t do all that ‘blind date’ shit. And people should get lives. Meet people physically. It never goes out of style.

    On the real, though, the way Rolake was describing her body,…….. *reflection* I’d probably do that.

    Easy, man.

  • yemmie

    Absolutely love this post. I knw hw corny the whole beauty is skindeep speech is bt honestly its absurd to judge pple over thngs dey cnt control. We all wanna look like cinderella bt asides caking up ur face deres nt much dt cn b done. Getting off my high horse, iv made so many mean remarks bout pple I regard 2 b ugly. May God forgive me.

  • barakolee

    omo the guy fall hand die…. i mean, what he did was pretty mean, after all the poor girl warned him…. what he could have done was bear it, have a nice time with her, or at least make her feel so, and then not call again! that would have been better than what he did….

  • cecenostockings

    Thinking about it, if ‘I’ were the Ronke babe, I wouldn’t mind oh! I’d be hurt a whole lot more if he pretended to be ok with me and then just never called again. I’m just one of those people who like straightforward things. But then, that’s just me.

  • bbd

    This is pathetic and sad! So guys actually do this? Na wa o! Poor babe, shebi she already told guy she wasn’t fine? The guy is wicked o! Kai!

  • doynoyesanmi

    Harsh,harsh,harsh!I felt really bad for the rolake babe,I’ve heard of ppl leaving the scene after sighting their blind dates but denying em is just the height.

  • vixenpixie

    First off, I won’t be surprised if @awizi was dt one guy dt was mean to me cuz I was skinny and ‘flat’. Anyways, this kinda thing happens a lot, a girl is judged by expectations and when she doesn’t quite meet them, she’s left alone!! I knw dt @capoeira has probly done this before, just like all those FOOLISH guys out there!! Judging a book by it’s cover!! *scoff* the idea disgusts me!! Afterall, its not like many guys I meet these days don’t dissapoint me wv their shallow stupidity and facial/body features!!

  • Zeezamsays

    U knw wat pisses me off the most?most guys aren’t evn fine!lyk only 30% of em r goodlooking facially bt dey stil sit der nd judge *smh*

    Most blind dates hav turned out quite well 4 me,I knw I’m nt ugly sha bt den I sit nd imagine ‘wat if I was butt-ugly?’ *shudder*
    Oh well…I guess guys wuld be guys *shrugs*

    Nice 1 yemi *thumbs up* 🙂

  • molt

    Jimi is really immature and a big ass!.. A similar incident happened to me.. I declined checking her facebook, BBM request and even twitter. Strictly phone calls and sms’s. Finally decided to meet @ the galleria. Hot body and a painfully unpretty face. I was hurt but decided to go with it. We talked even held hands and walked, watched a movie together after that. And now she’s one of my closest friends!.. And btw she has a bf now. Dude is way out of my league, and he’s so into her. So all Rolake’s out there, its not the end. And all Jimi’s, stop being foolish and immature. You may have a daughter someday!..

  • molt

    And Nice post Yemi.. (Y)

  • olawunmie

    I read this, and it made me want to find Jimi in a dark corner with a baseball bat, the way I would disfigure his face ehn? He will never look at another person and call them ugly again.

    This is the dark side of human nature. We each know what works for us, and that’s fine, no judgement. But when this lady has told you time and time again that she isn’t a looker and you tell her it doesn’t matter, raising her hopes only to dash them, that is unspeakable cruelty. The sad part is there are many men who would actually do this.

  • nerdychique

    wow. Panda, you are one of the people that make me want to resign from writing.
    well, I can totally relate to Rolake, probably because I have this annoying habit of under dressing for a first date, as a ‘test’. its jimi’s loss anyways.

  • 'Jibòla

    I don’t think it’s possible that you can pull off a dalliance that long without seeing her in this day and age.

  • fairy god mother

    I’ll b back…
    Wait oooo, GOD punish Jimi and his likes…. As for Rolake, lemme go and whip up sum portion, fairy god mother to d rescue….
    I’ll b back…

  • fairy god mother

    I’m back… As much as I’ll like to finish Jimi wit my yoruba chants, I’ll also want to say, dat we all do dis… Jimi’s reaction was too extreme, most of us myt not toil dat path but everyone wants to be seen in public wit dat beautiful or handsome person… No babe wants an ugly dude to walk up to her, neither does any guy want an ugly babe to slip her number in his pocket! My question now is wat happens to inner beauty? Wat happens to dose we choose to term as ugly?
    We need to see past d facial beauty… Errrrrr, I think I shld drum dat into my head 1st!!!! -____-

  • thinktankt

    Judging people by looks is one of the symptoms of chronic immaturity. Interesting story. Personally, I don’t consider myself a spectacularly looking guy, I’m pretty average, and I do consider my mind to be my biggest asset, so in many ways i relate more to Rolake than Jimi. it works both ways anyway…maybe one day i will share my story with the Panda. Maybe. Well done man. good post as usual


    sad story .. as in im feeling for d babe… the guy is stupid ooo chai!!! anyways sorry rolake

  • Jade Mustapha

    Lmaoooo! I HATE all these blind date stuff..atleast a picture..ahan..some suprises turn out to be too suprising..nice stuff

  • musingsofagidimallam

    Great stuff Panda…n I can relate with both ppl…
    When I was much younger twas fun to laff bout how “worisome” som girls were n all…but that changed as I grew older…I’m not exactly a Morris Chestnut, altho I’m not a complete pushover…n like @Thinktank I believe my personality n my mind r my greatest assets, so I’ve learnt to judge ppl based on a lot more dan outer beauty…guess Jimi is jus immature period…

  • Kesh

    This makes me grateful i’m not ugly. I mean ugly enough for him to just walk away and deny you despite that beautiful mind. Don’t take this the wrong way. When you have a face only God could love, its hard for people to even get to know your beautiful inside. This is a solemn post for me. I’m so sad for Rolake. But i know, that there are mature people out there that know that beauty is not just about the face. Wow. Nice post sha.

  • Crazy Gemini

    Omg! 😦 soo sad….
    The ending part was just soo… ( I have no words for it)
    It’s just not fair… 😦 lol! I can feel the babe’s pain 😦

  • honeysucklebelle

    Phew! Thot d initial write up was a true story. Couldn’t believe anyone wud hav such a low self esteem or a guy cud b so cruel. Newais, nice post. N no girl is that ugly a s to inspire such a shockin rejection except she has a deformity of some sorts

  • Terdoh

    Wow. That is one heartless Negro. But who am I to point fingers. He obviously didn’t want to be seen in public with someone lower than his “standards”. I understand that, but I don’t support the methodology. That was some wicked shit. Then he sent “I’m sorry” like the words had magical healing powers.


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