Introspective Blogging: The Difference in Me

So, a few minutes ago, I realized again, how very odd I am.
I went to buy food, cos I really can’t be bothered to cook tonight. And on my way out, I remembered that tonight is the Champions League final match. So I buy food, and on my way back, I see some of my peeps going to watch the match. And they’re like “you dey go watch for devotion ground abi?” And I go: “I no dey watch football”.
The look on their faces, was just like the look on everybody else’s face whenever I say that. It goes from shock to a look that says “dude you’re weird…with a capital W”.
I didn’t really pay it much mind. Kept on stepping. But then, as I kept walking, I realized that I was the only one walking towards my hostel. Everyone else was going the other way. Towards the girls’ hostel, where the match was being streamed off a big projector. That was when I realized. That a lot of the time, when everyone is walking one way, I’m usually going the others way.
I’ve kinda always been like that. Always shared the opinion that makes me the weird one. On almost everything. From music, to food, to behavior, to women and relationships …everything.
And over the last few months, I started losing appreciation for that fact. Because really, being different, being the very edge on that bell curve, usually means being alone. And sometimes, it can actually get downright lonely.
But then tonight, walking back to my hostel to eat and then study while everyone is focusing on the game, I realized that I’ve always loved this part of me.  I’ve always liked the fact that not many dudes in this country actually can say that they don’t watch soccer. I like the fact that people look through my music library and go “Panda your music is weird” (that happened again on Wednesday). I like that I’m slightly sexually masochistic (TMI? No? LOL). I like the fact that I see people, and the way relationships are supposed to work, differently. I like the fact that I can say that I’ve never cheated on a girlfriend.
I like the fact that I’m not normal.
Cos, that’s always been one of my biggest fears; becoming like everybody else. Becoming normal. Normal is, boring. And yes, being different can sometimes be a lonesome task, but nobody said life was meant to be easy now did they?
So yes. This is me remembering why I like myself. This is me saying it proud. And this is me telling you: never be ashamed to be different from everybody else. I’m not saying you should be different like be a pervert or a killer or anything, but those simple, fundamental differences? Don’t ever be ashamed. They make you who you are. And to me, that’s the most important thing ever.
And I may never gain a real taste for soccer. But I’m okay with that. Even though, I know one person that has something to say about that. But well, that’s between us now isn’t it?
Okay, that’s all from me for now. I’ve got books to read. Some stuff happened yesterday, with a friend of mine. I may write my take on it, and the lesson it taught me, later. And I know you (said friend) will see this and beg me not to write about it. 😀 Fear not babes…lol.

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

6 responses to “Introspective Blogging: The Difference in Me

  • afrosays

    No wonder he calls himself maverick.

    Brother, the path of an iconoclast is not paved with faces of camaraderie and so so.

    I had to tone it down. I watch football now, if it’s only so I can relate with other normal people. I’ve still not found that lady that’s into what I’m into, the only one that tried got exhausted and is back to being ‘one-of-them’. I take what I get. I get bored.

    I need love. I need company. I therefore need to be normal. The other mavericks I know, they are all alone.

    I learned. I became the trenchant knucklehead.

  • mexm

    Good article. Keep doing you. To conform to stereotype is to die a little , day by day.

  • cecenostockings

    I love this piece so much!

    Everyone always goes “Babe, you’re weird.” or “Babe, you’re just special.”, and I’m like “Damn right, I’m special.”.

    I was born different, so fitting in was never really one of my options. I learnt very early to be comfortable with who I am, and I love myself. That’s what matters the most.

    And I think it’s hilarious because, when you think about it, people only call you ‘weird’ when you don’t fit their definition of what normal is. Well, being weird is normal to me, and they don’t fit the description, so I guess they’re weird too 🙂

    My favesayings – “Dare to be different.” and “In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”. I have no idea who said either of them, but I chant them like mantras 🙂

    Again, really lovely post (y)

    • The Capoeira Panda

      Lol. I’ve actually considered inking “One Eyed, Amidst The Blind” somewhere on my body…still not sure about it.
      Learning to accept my difference is something I wish I’d done earlier in my life. It would’ve made things easier for me. But well, I’m glad there’s people that share my views.

  • iEsquire

    I can so much relate to this! Like you, i’m not a fan of soccer and i’m different in other ways too, ways that make people think i’m weird. Before now, i used to be sad about the loneliness but I’ve come to love myself for who i am and it feels good!

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