Inside The Dark

The door opened, flooding the enclosure with light. He could hear them as they scuttled to the corners, into the darkness. Away from the light. As long as the light could touch them, they wouldn’t move. He could hear them hissing at it…but they smiled as well, all teeth and predatory intent, saying “Wa Tolu. Wa ba wa joko. We won’t hurt you…much. Come, we’re waiting for you.
They were waiting for him to step in. And for the door to shut. For the dark to be turned on.
Firm, strong hands pushed him in. He tried to run back out but got a firm slap for his efforts and was pushed back in with even more aggression, his bottom hitting the dirt hard.
He knew they would hurt him. They always did. He tried to act like he didn’t care about them. They couldn’t touch him if he ignored them. But he couldn’t ignore them. They jumped at him. They scuttled about. They swiped at him and he could feel their claws brush past his face. He tried everything. Telling himself they were not real, telling himself it would soon be over. Telling himself to focus on the crack of light seeping in from under the door.
Yes…that little crack of illumination.
They couldn’t stand there. He couldn’t feel them there. And if he couldn’t feel them, they didn’t exist. And if they didn’t exist, they couldn’t touch him.
The door shut. He heard the lock click. No escape.
He couldn’t feel them, but he could hear them laughing in raspy, dangerous voices.
“Look at the door Tolu, look at the door.” He told himself. He hated being here. Where they could get him. But he knew that he was being tested. And he would not break. “There’s a light under the door. They can’t hurt you.”
His heart went from racing, to a slow trot. He could handle it. He’d be fine…
And then NEPA struck. And out went the light.
His eyes bulged. And as the fear in the cauldron of his stomach hit one hundred and twenty degrees, the screams he’d been holding back bubbled up and ripped from his throat.
“BROTHER KOREDE PLEASE!!!! PLEASE!!!!” He half screamed, half cried. “I PROMISE I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!”
“BROTHER KOREDE!!!!!……please.”
Seven year old Tolu heard his brother and his friends laughing in the parlor. And as he heard his brother get up and walk towards the door, he felt ‘them’ gathering. They were crawling towards him, slowly. Their claws scraping the sandy cement floor.
“Are you afraid of them Tolu?” His brother asked through the door. “Yes”, he whimpered.
His brother laughed, and began to sing in a soft, eerie voice. The creatures he’d told Tolu about, began to sing along as they came for him.
Ojuju calaba. Iyoyo, iyoyo. Ojuju calaba. Iyoyo, iyoyo…

END.

I’m still busy with schoolwork, but I made out time for this one sha.
So, what y’all think? I’m still working on my prose and story telling. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
Look out for the first chapter of Fourth Day coming up tomorrow. You can subscribe so you get notification immediately it’s posted.
Have a good weekend y’all.
🙂

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

16 responses to “Inside The Dark

  • Nugwa

    I did that to my bay sister… was never scared of darkness myself… He should grow up jor… agbaya…

  • awizii

    I love the suspense..the build up was terrific..turns out the kid was just scared of ojuju calabar lol

  • ibetapassmyneighbour

    Thank God for my tush upbringing………loooool but really funny tho n wicked!

  • Sisi Ijebu

    Very well written and quite graphic. I don’t like to think about the terror experienced by a 7 yr old who is afaid of the dark and “ojuju”, children do have a very vivid imagination. However, I think you could still develop this story and add a few more elements. That being said, I know I will be a lot gentler on my little cousins from now on when teasing them about ojuju.

  • BBB

    loool
    mean much
    i used to be so scared of the darkness too
    writing is topnotch

  • ahmed

    Nice 1…this kinda experience can scar some people for life

  • cecenostockings

    Awww. Poor boy. My cousins did this to me :'(. I used to get so scared. Then I learnt to suck it up and made friends with the ojujus 😀

    Years later, I did the same thing to my kid sister. It’s the circle of life. He should man up, jhor.

  • AOT2

    At that age darkness can play a lot of tricks on one’s mind. Some grown up adults are still scared of it till today. Nice post though

  • sundayschild

    The suspense created in this story, is on point. Didn’t see the fact that he was 7 coming, or the fact it was ojuju calaba he was scared of.

  • remi olutimayin

    Well…I’ve always believed that when you are in the dark, indoors or outside, shadows take on the shape of terrible things sitting in your mind.
    Your darkest fears is more than just a saying. It gets very personal in the dark.
    Personally, I prefer to sit in the dark. It might have something to do with recovering from occular hypertension, but I like to see what terrible things lurk in my mind.
    And as always, they greet me like old foes turned friends.

  • Spiffy

    Somehow I knew immediately that this story was about shadows or some kinda in-the-head-fear sha. But I loved how every line had me doubting and thinking perhaps there was something more. Its great work.

  • musingsofagidimallam

    Good stuff bruv…I used to be scared of d dark too…now I love it…ironic isn’t it…
    Your prose is actually good…n like Sisi Ijebu said…a lot of room for further development…guess der’s hope for u becomin anoda Remy…

  • OOkpoechi

    Oh wow. This was great. I loved the way you built up the suspense; I was already getting scared.And at “BROTHER KOREDE PLEASE!!!! PLEASE!!!!” He half screamed, half cried. “I PROMISE I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!”
    “BROTHER KOREDE!!!!!……please.”, I just burst into laughter.
    Nice one.

  • Betty

    Wow. This is excellent writing- Didn’t see that coming..
    I’d like to say someone in earlier comment is disturbed; but I do exactly the same thing. Sitting in the darkness takes me places I didn’t want to confront before.
    Excellent job!

  • afrosays

    Omo bruv!
    You didn’t leave in my Ipaja house as a kid, with leaning masquerade trees, strange cats walking on the fence (even though the top of it was protected with broken glass).

    Visitor leaves.

    “Bankole, go and lock the gate.”

    “FUCK!” (in kid mindspeak)

    Locks gate. Picks race like it was a thousand Naira note that lost its owner.

    Yessir Panda! They say you’re a new new writer, you say you are too. I say I don’t see it!

  • AeeDeeAee

    Love it!

    So it was just Ojuju. lol. I’ve never been scared of the dark. serious flaw i guess. My sis,on the flip-side, saw all kinds of things in the dark. lol wont sleep and wont let us sleep.

    Great post.

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