Well hey there people, how’s that grind going? Good?
First of all, I just want to remind y’all that voting for the 2011 Naija Blog Awards is on and all that, and that I and some of my favorite bloggers like The ThinkTank, KevinWithAnL, Afrosays, Ms Dania, and The Toolsman were nominated for awards so… if you could take a few minutes to VOTE, that’d be very cool.
I woke up this morning to a post from former heavy weight ashewo and my very good friend, DOJ. His post basically took a geek’s look as to why a dude shouldn’t cheat on his woman, especially with two kobo babes, comparing them to Diamonds and Graphite. I had to smile when I read it, cos I’ve had the post that I’m writing about right now in my head for a few days, and it just felt very odd that our thought patterns are so similar sometimes.
Anyways, so while he went in on why men shouldn’t go for the two kobo babe, I still have the question stuck firmly in my head like pieces of white house meat wedged in my teeth.
No, not why do men cheat. I’ve thought about that a bit a long while ago, and was gonna write on why both men and women cheat, but I was advised not to look for trouble.
No. What I wonder is why when most men cheat on their woman, in terms of simple booty calls or “P”, they do it with a babe that, in DOJ’s words, is like a “Ms Taraba” compared to their girlfriend’s “Oluchi”.
I remember this question entered my head a few years back, when Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley were getting divorced. I heard that he’d cheated on her and at first, I didn’t wanna judge him. I mean, no be small thing. Money, fine boy, etc…
And then I saw the Hollywood prostitute he had been caught with. The first utterance from my mouth was “ANYAMAAA!!!” I mean really? Your wife was Elizabeth Hurley! The beautiful devil from Bedazzled and you went to cheat on her with a woman that looked like all the dazzling in the world wouldn’t save her devilish look? Haba!
But I’m older now, and I’ve seen a general pattern with my brethren.
How? Well, even though I’ve never been unfaithful (Call it my being dull, or proud, or respecting my lady too much, or just God not wanting me to walk that path. It just hasn’t happened and I hope it never will), the babes who gave me the most grief in terms of temptation, were girls that just couldn’t step to my girlfriend at that time. Plus, I do have a lot of friends who have played the field a bit. And with the exception of maybe two, every single one of them whom I know has done some by the side P, usually does it with some random girl who couldn’t hold a candle to their girlfriends’ fire. Take for example, on Friday I was at this bachelor’s pad where I crash sometimes, there’s like six dudes living there, and one of them had this babe he was kpanshing. Now if you look at his girlfriend, who is so very pretty, and look at this girl that he was with ehn, you might have felt like flogging him within an inch of his life.
I couldn’t understand it. I still don’t. So, I asked for the opinions of a few guys that I felt are very different individuals so I’d get different opinions. Here’s what they had to say.
I’d have to say it’s sex and ‘fitness for purpose’. A man wants sex and not much else. She doesn’t need to be smart or pretty or witty. If she has the equipment and is willing to play her role, she is then ‘fit for purpose’. If I wanted a wife I’d be more discerning than I would if I needed an itch scratched with no drama on the regular.
Some men cheat because the other girl gives them something in bed they don’t get from the main girl. I know someone who was cheatin with a butt ugly chic because his fine girlfriend would not give head. Usually when the side chic is not as fine, either her sex game’s wicked, or her cooking’s amazeballs or she treats him like the center of her world. What man doesn’t like his ego massaged?
I think it’s debatable to say the side chic is almost always not as hot as the wife/girlfriend. I have dated/set P with chicks that could stand close to my wife in comparison but at the same time, I have set P with others that couldn’t even be in the same room and I think in these cases, what comes to mind is that sex at that point is not about physical looks but appeal. The possibility of thinking of banging a chick and making it happen can be overwhelming, hence one tends to overlook other things that one would typically pay attention to when considering a more long term relationship…
The 80-20 rule. There’s nothing like a 100. It’s a myth created by men who haven’t had sex in ages & are trying really hard to get one lady in the sack. A man would usually go for a woman with 80% of what he desires in a woman. The one with the 20%, he will try to keep around to fulfill his selfish desires. Usually these 20’s aren’t that sexually-attractive when compared to the 80’s but there’s always something that the 20’s have and the 80’s don’t have. The will to submit. A 20 knows she doesn’t have us but is willing to stick around because of her willingness to submit to our needs. An 80, on the other, feels too comfortable so she would let some things slide since after she has us. At the end, we, men, would stray away & get that 20. And cheating is born. “Never stone a stray dog without asking where the master is”
I suppose because it’s easier to go for a 6 than an 8. It depends on what the girlfriend is not providing for them. If it’s just sex, then they find someone willing to provide it. She doesn’t have to be a beauty queen. In fact, having a side chick that’s not as beautiful as the girlfriend makes it easy to break away when the time comes/when the girlfriend resumes her duties. If the side chick was prettier than the girlfriend, then she would be a replacement for the girlfriend, not a back-up player. So guys that cheat as a means of getting a new girlfriend, usually go for someone prettier. Guys that just want extra action, go for lower.
Okay. So I think I understand.
- Sometimes it’s just about the sex.
- Sometimes it’s just much less stress.
- Sometimes, the ugly chic may be giving the guy stuff that he’s not going to get from the main chic.