She’s Such A Lady

Hey there good people…

Yes, I know I abandoned everyone. I’m terribly sorry. I’ve been kinda down with a selective form of writer’s block, and as such, I couldn’t write anything till I was done with the story I was writing. Thankfully, I’m done with it so I can think and put out stuff. I’m doing writing exercises to help me push the block outta the way so I hope things should go back to normal soon.

Alright then… y’all know it’s usually when something happens to catch my attention that I decide to write so… wait first… lemme play one jam like this…

*NP “Lady” by Fela*


If you call am “woman”, African woman no go gree.

She go say…she go say “I be lady o”

I heard this song a long time ago… and when I was old enough to make some sense of it, I just thought it was a song that was poking fun at babes. It was silly and all, but I didn’t really pay it any mind… until recently.

A few weeks ago, I was talking to one of my female friends, and I called her a girl. But then I apologized and said she was a woman. Now this babe, to my surprise, looked at me and said “I’m not a woman o, I’m a lady. I’m too young to be a woman. I mean… I’m only 22.”

A few days later, I was talking to another chic friend, and when the same thing came up and I called her a woman, she told me that she’s “not a woman o…” So I asked her if she was a girl. And she said no. And of course I asked, “so what are you?” and she says “I’m a lady”.

At this point in time, I burst out laughing and she has this bemused look on her face wondering why I’m laughing my ass off. So I ask; “Babe, are you saying that the transition phase between being a girl and being a woman, is being a lady?” And she looked at me and said, “ehen now.”

O ga o.

I’m confused as to when this happened; when “lady-hood” suddenly became the transition phase where members of the female specie nestle on their way to womanhood from girlhood, sort of like the cocoon that shields the phase between caterpillar and butterfly. As far as I know, “lady” is a title that was used to address women of noble birth or some other form of superior social standing back in the day, and now is simply used as a polite way of referring to a woman and the only “women” that try to claim “lady” by force are really just peasants trying to feel noble by force. But of course, a lot of Nigerian babes just love to go the hardest when they’re displaying ignorance. I mean really. Can you imagine a dude saying “I’m not a boy, but I’m not a man; I’m a Lord.” Or saying, “I’m too young to be a man. I’m a gentleman.” (I’m going to assume that there’s no dude out there with the IQ that God gave gravel that would be dumb enough to say that so…) How stupid would that sound? That’s basically the same thing going on here.

And then, I just don’t get it. Do these members of the female race imagine that a man would want a “lady” and not a “woman”? By the old meaning of what a lady is, these were just women who were high born, most of them couldn’t do a single thing for themselves besides maybe knit and (if they were exceptional) cook. They were mostly of no use to their fathers than to hold their virtues with all chastity, be pretty and get married to some lord who would pay a handsome bride price for them. That is all.

Now bring that to modern times; that kind of woman would be a liability in all senses of the word. I don’t want that kind o. I want a strong woman that I can count on to help out when there’s trouble. That can look out for herself when I’m not there and watch my back when I need it. I don’t want any woman that’s just fine for nothing (although I do want a fine woman *winks*) and I’m sure my brothers agree with me.

So why do these Nigerian women place so much emphasis on being “ladies” and not “women”? I have absolutely no idea. Maybe somebody can shed some light on it *shrugs*. Women complain about how there many good men aren’t left in the world. My sister Sisi Ijebu in her Last Post claimed that for every correct woman out there, there’s only 0.67 good men. And I actually can’t disagree. My lot is a rare breed *DodgesSlippers*. So how do you think we should manage when the women actually believe that it’s better to be a “lady” than to stand queen like a real woman?

Anyways, I still have to work on bringing my writing back out, but this is kinda just an FYI thing. My sisters; “lady” is a title. It’s not who you are. You can be a lady if you behave like one, you can act all lad-like i.e. noble, self-respecting, etc… but that is not a substitute for being a girl, or a woman. Quit being ignorant okay?


O by the way,

About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

17 responses to “She’s Such A Lady

  • Guest

    Ah, this post…I can’t add to it.. Well, I want a real woman, not a lady.

  • Frankie!!

    NB: All gbagauns shld b ignored… Thnks :D) @Panda Its no mre about d old definition.. Wen we ladies say “I am a lady nt a woman” doesn’t min, we min d old definition of wat a lady is.. A lady, by my modern defintion (I beliv I spk 4 sme ladies who will agree wit all I’ll say), is a female beautiful/ugly (wateva) who has a “style”, dat makes her diff frm any oda, be it dat she can cook or not, or she can bag a millionaire Lord 4 a husband or jst a carpenter.. Its about not looking @ urself as old.(its a safe way to say) Am NOT a kid, neida am I fully a woman whch duznt ay am not a woman (Its complicated, I knw).. Its like d same way, u cnt call a 14 or 15 yr old male “a boy” or “a man” cus u feel like they aren’t fully d former or d later, so we call dem “guy”… Loool… Anywys, for we females, its a “transition” 4 us.. We dnt define it by wat it ws bt wat we feel it should b… Well, dis is my own opinion sha.. Feel free to disect it…. Looool…

  • @demmylee

    Like you pointed out,its jez plain ignorance. No more no less.

  • Temitope R.F

    All boils down to ignorance on the part of the 21st century ‘Ladies’ *walks off*

  • jAyajade

    While I agree that a lady isn’t a female in transition, its also a polite term to refer to a woman. Its not just a title.

    • jAyajade

      I totally agree with Frankie!! On this one. Its kinda a 21st century translation, I don’t agree with its use, but I get it. And for those saying its a sign of ignorance, did you know that the word ‘planking’ refers to a group of planks or laying planks. But when anyone uses that word now what comes to mind? 🙂

  • thetoolsman

    See what happens when our first lady starts referring to herself as ‘Dame’?

  • ibetapassmynebo

    @toolsman pls stop there
    Btw….am a lady…my EX is a Knight so “WHOZ IS WINNING”??? Ask gbagaundetector 😀

  • loba

    Erm..hey panda, back in d day, its the ladies that pay dowries, not the men.

    • The Capoeira Panda

      Funny thing, I had this exact discussion with my father last week. I didn’t say “dowry”. I said “bride-price”. They’re two totally different things and serve two completely different purposes. And I know women paid dowry.

  • iamsamsie

    Dame—-»Anglican version of a lady in the catholic church.

  • lagoshunter

    At 22, it is very unlikely that a chick can insist on being called a lady. Ladies aren’t dramatic & trampish the way 22 year olds are……

    Besides, being called a lady is an attribute to ones carriage & character and not necessarily age.

  • @Qurr

    She go saaaay! Lol correct guy. You are too much jare, Panda. You have hit some heads on the nail! :p

  • musingsofagidimallam

    I guess it’s simply a matter of semantics. It isn’t used in the same sense it was originally used with. So free the babes, oops, ladies, o jare…hehehehe

  • Chinelonma

    if only they knew what it takes to be a lady…!

  • LeeeMason

    From a feminine point of view… They (We) would rather be called ladies because ‘woman’ seems to old and ‘girl’ seems to young. That’s it in a nutshell. Forgetting the actually meaning of ‘lady’. You know how nigerians are. Somethings are just stereotyped and their wrong usage has been in existence for quite a while and people are accustomed to such.

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