Stir Those Juices

The trouble with starting something, is that there’s a constant influx of pressure for you to keep doing it. Especially if you did it well.
“…even the blueprint is a gift and a curse. Cos once you’ve got the theory of how the thing works, everyone expects the next thing to be just like the first.– Mike Shinoda
I guess that’s what has been wrong with me in the last few weeks. I managed to pull some creativity out of my hat, and now I feel like every time I pick up a pen or open up that WordPress app on my phone, something creative must come out.
But well, I don’t know if I can live up to that expectation. I don’t want to write nonsense just to keep up the status quo. I don’t believe in mediocrity. But I need to write right now so… I guess I’ll just talk about me.
It’s be en a very mixed up period recently for me. Got outta school and I’ve tried to hit the ground running. Hustle and stuff… like I’ve repeated constantly, I really don’t want to be asking my father for money anymore. There’s a certain level of respect that you get when it’s known that you can do your own thing without stretching out your hand to ask for your parents’ money. So I’ve been on that grind. It’s definitely not easy.
Also been working out more. I saw Deola’s post on Cece’s blog about losing weight. It’s funny cos I can relate with it a whole lot. Changing my diet and doing my best…
Speaking about relating with stuff, I’ve been saying that I’m going to write some stuff based on what my fellow bloggers have been writing … well not everyone or everything… but I’m sure you get the point. I’ll try to concentrate and write something soon enough.
Moving on…
I feel like I’ve lost a bit of myself. A part of myself that was strong… untouchable … that I could easily depend on… I don’t know where it is anymore. Some may say that it’s a good thing, but I’m not sure it is… I believe very strongly in self control. And losing control of myself in this manner doesn’t make me happy at all.
I’m sure you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about… I’d love to tell all, but I realize now that my blog is no longer somewhere I can write my heart out for everyone to read… too many people involved.
Which is why I have my other undercover anonymous blog đŸ˜‰
Although, that one suffers from neglect as well but… *shrugs*
My car is getting fixed đŸ˜€
I came back from uni to find a car that I left in ok condition, riddled with engine problems. Don’t ask me what happened o… I haven’t the foggiest.

Okay… nothing much to say… I think I’ll go back to doing this sort of thing everyday. And maybe my creative juices will start flowing again. Speaking of which, I’m supposed to write something for someone before the 27th… *sigh* help me Lord…

Posted from WordPress for Android®

About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

One response to “Stir Those Juices

  • dtwistednerd

    YAY..i left a comment!congrats on your graduation.will be graduating in September as well.find yourself..u can’t loose that essence that makes you….you!lemme stop rattling!

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