The Challenge Begins

…yawns, scratches balls, looks about, sits down…

Alright then, I guess it’s finally time to start this Blog Challenge thing. I’ve already accepted my honor role in the Last Carriers Academy, so I don’t expect anybody to disturb my life by asking me where I’ve been since and why I didn’t start this since. So, let’s move on.

Five Ways to Win the Heart of the Panda

This is really an odd topic… really. I should just be lazy and call MsPanda so she can tell me how she “won” my heart *EternalYimu* but then I’m sure she’ll just abuse me. So,yeah… let’s get on with it then.

  1. Intelligence: I’m sure a lot of guys say that they want intelligent women, and then at the end of the day, can’t stand a woman that’s possibly as smart or even smarter than they are, but that’s actually not the case for me. I’ve got an inbred distaste for stupidity. More like, I’m allergic to idiots. Hence, the whole “dumb blonde” routine is actually quite a turn off for me. I need a woman that can talk to me without making me feel like I’m boiling a stone to try and soften it. And I know they say most women mature faster than men. Yeah… that’s bullshit. A lot of girls, as I have come to find out, are really not as smart as they would like to believe. Some are smart…But that’s beside the point. Anyways, intelligent conversations… actions backed up by intelligent thinking, and you have my heart.
  2. Cook for me: Come on, this has to be a no-brainer now. I love me some good cooking. I definitely cannot play with a woman that can’t cook, not to even mention taking one serious. And before you voltrons of the feminine gender begin to form, I can cook. Therefore, it is completely impossible in my opinion, to be with a woman that cannot cook. But what were we talking about? Ehen… Amala…ewedu, gbegiri, catfish, assorted meat… chai! All those other good things I like ehn… if you can cook for me ehn…and then rub my belly after, the pathway on your journey to my heart would have been eased a little bit.
  3. Show some Strength: Both in body and in mind. I do not like weaklings. For one thing, I like a bit of rough play as part of foreplay sometimes. I like to be able to wrestle with my woman. I like a bit of rough sex as well. A weak woman really can’t handle those kinds of wants. I worry about the well-being of my woman when I’m not with her, so I always want a woman who I know that to  certain extent, will be able to take care of herself if some idiot niggas are trying to misbehave. Speaking of taking care of herself, I also like a woman that’s in good shape, and can fight a bit, so… female martial artists? Huge turn on. As for mental strength, I’m a dominating person by default. It just comes to me naturally. Which means I need a woman who is strong enough to stand up to me and help keep me in check, if not I’ll just mow right over her. If you really want to win my heart, show me that you’re not afraid of me. Not necessarily in a disrespectful way, but let me see that I can’t do you anyhow…
  4. Artistry: I’m a writer. I also have a pretty decent voice. I’m planning to pick up an instrument sometime soon. You see where I’m going with this? I require an artistic woman. It really doesn’t matter what it is she does. Singing, painting, writing, playing an instrument…whatever. You really can’t get me if you can’t do something sha… you need to be able to sing to me, or write a poem for me, or something… that’s actually a good way to go about it. Although, if you move too fast… *shrugs*
  5. Pay attention: Unfortunately me, I’m a dude that likes attention. I don’t understand why I imagine that I should be the sole beneficiary of a person’s time and focus, but well that’s the way I am. I think to myself sometimes, that if I ever cheated on a girlfriend, this would be the reason. Not because of the sex or anything else. So this, in truth, is the easiest way to win and keep my heart. Give me as much attention as you can possibly create for me, and well… we’ll see.

Okay, this is day 1 of the Blog Challenge. Hopefully I’ll keep at it for the next 30 days and all. I’ll holla at y’all later.

Disclaimer: Although these ways written are a true guideline towards winning and keeping my heart, the said “heart” currently belongs to another. And I doubt she has intentions of letting anyone win it from her anytime soon.

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

8 responses to “The Challenge Begins

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