On Parenting and Mugu Creation

Day II

Before I start this, I really should say; first of all, this post is not in any way humorous. It is my honest view about something I feel really strongly about. And although there are a whole lot of things I feel very strongly about, I just can’t seem to bring myself to think of anything else besides this at the moment. I realize that some of the things I may say will probably not be in agreement with some people’s views. And I recommend that you share your views in the discussion pane, or go jerk yourself off with aboniki or a spiked mallet… your choice really.

Okay, so I remember a few months ago when I was in school, I was talking with the Students’ Affairs Officer. And we were having a discussion about the rules of the school and how they made absolutely no sense because, in restricting youths so very much, the university is in essence creating grade A mugu’s who will be unable to survive properly in the real world. Of course, being the kind of person I am, I hit the man with point after point, until he really had no argument anymore. All he could do was make very paltry attempts at defending the school management. And in doing so, he brought to my attention something very amazing to me; all the while, I had thought that the reason the university made some of those ridiculous rules was because they wanted to restrict the students, but apparently, the major reason for those rules, is because that is exactly what the parents want. They want their sons and daughters tied up and kept under close supervision, majorly because they do not trust them not to “mess up”.

This worries me for a few reasons.

You see, the world we live in has over time, gotten much harder and a bit more merciless than it was in the days of our parents. Even though there has been a plethora of technological advancements and things, this world, and more specifically this country, is more “dog-eat-dog” than ever before. There is no room for mugus or simpletons.

Unfortunately, parents refuse to realize that.

They attempt to cage their children all their lives. “Don’t do this” & “Don’t do that” are the things these children hear all their lives, lives that revolve in a very tiny circle that most usually goes something like:

School – home – church – some other parent approved activity – home – school

And it goes on like that. They restrict them from things all their lives, and then when they are finally of age to enter the university, where their eyes are meant to be opened and they’re meant to experience life and learn, they’re thrown in open prisons.

What are these parents attempting to create?

In my opinion, these parents are not really trying to prevent the child from messing up. Let’s be honest, experience is the best and most honest teacher. I think that these parents are more worried about how their child’s potential “mess up” will affect them. They are afraid that the child will not be able to control him/her self, and will do something that would embarrass the family. Now to some people, this may seem like a very reasonable thought or fear, or whatever, so it would make sense for a parent to depend upon a university to keep his/her child in check. However, I have one thing to say to any parent that sends their child to a private uni for that kind of reason;

You have failed as a parent.

Yes, I say this totally and utterly unapologetically.

Why? The bible says, “Train your child in the way that he should go, and when he grows he shall not depart from it.” Am I right? This says to me, that if by the time you have a child that is 16-18, and you think that you need somebody to supervise his actions so that he does not veer unto the wrong path, you have not, from the time when that child was young, trained him in the proper path, and therefore, have failed as a parent.

I also remember that, while I was talking to the SAO, I pointed out the sheer ridiculousness of parents requiring the school to keep their wards in check, or coming to the school to discuss with lecturers about their kids and all that rubbish. I pointed out the fact that my parents had never once set foot in the university, from my first year till final. And his response was, “This place is not really meant for people like you.”

What that said to me? “This place is not for people whose parents raised them right.”

I have this feeling that I’ve gone off point somewhere… *Reads through post*

Okay, look. In all truth, I understand that most of the time, parents want to protect their kids. But the truth is that almost all parents over-do it, and go completely overboard. The fact that some harm will come to your child is inevitable. And the truth is, attempting to minimize this harm can be the wrong thing to do sometimes. More often than not, minimizing by hiding the child away will simply make him/her unprepared for when that day of trouble actually comes.

*sigh*

I’m tired of typing… I feel like a boring person. This kind of yarns is usually best had with plenty people, over a whole lot of alcohol. But well, they said something I feel strongly about ba? And I agree that I could’ve done better with this, but really… talking about this wears me out so… forgive me.

So that’s Day 2. I’ve got something else coming up tonight, but sha sha… see y’all tomorrow…

Peace, love and long life.

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

10 responses to “On Parenting and Mugu Creation

  • @Qurr

    Spot on, man! The university is designed to be a place where one’s mind opens up to diverse possibilities! A closed experience is of no good!! The major thing one is to learn at undergraduate level in the University is to obtain an open mind, and not whatever course you think you are studying. Good job, Panda.

  • cecenostockings

    *applause* my mama raised me right, too ^_^

  • immortalteddybear

    Yes o!!

    uni’s supposed to expose u to things; show u how to make the right decisions. Not all dat cuddling crap dat goes on in xtain unis.

    Dis discussion will continue at Sundays @ D Bay!

  • awizii

    I agree with you completely. A University is an institution where one needs to learn to relate with people and share the universality of opinions. There’s so much to learn. Parents need to show the child the way at a very young age and believe in their maturity and independence, not forcing rules at a time he/she is supposed to be an adult. I like this a lot.

  • terdoh

    Coming from a ‘University’ like CU, I felt like you were talking about/to me.

    Not saying my parents didn’t raise me right, they did a pretty decent job. I’m just saying I believe I would have been ‘tougher’ going somewhere else.

  • iamsamsie

    I don’t see anything wrong in raising a child right and protecting the child..
    Most kids raised right or not always find a way to get involved in nasty stuff..so if your parents actually felt they wanted to keep you sheltered,I don’t see wrong..
    If I had that opportunity I would have loved it but when I started uni there was only one private university
    There is no special thing you will be exposed to in a fed.uni.

    • beeawo

      There’s nothing wrong with wanting to shelter your child and stuff but when that child is supposed to be Learning to stand on his own two feet and think for themselves its wrong. University is a model for wot life as a grown up is supposed to be. How will you learn the consequences of your own decisions if you are not allowed to make them. How will you know wot you really want or how to find your voice if all your life you’ve been told woy to do and how to act and not be allowed to find yourself. Most private unis are glorified secondary school imo

  • iamsamsie

    Except the opportunity to club and live wild..na that one una dey find abi?

  • 0laToxic

    I’m with the panda on this one. I’ve seen the difference between the siblings in my family who wen to federal unis and the one who went to a private one. My juniour brother got so caged in Bowen that he’s still struggling really hard to let out his chosen form of expression, even though he’s already out of the system, leaving us, his egbons, to find him the exposure that the school should have given him the freedom to find for himself.

    Sad stuff, I tell ya…

  • monteaguh

    Honestly put, these are true words. Those parents have outrightly failed. Will they follow you into your place of work or your marital home? They should reconsider their errors and apologize to their kids.

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