Midnight Musings

And when the ink dries… and the pages turn to dust, so will we return to dust…
Knowledge is power… but power can be more of a burden than a blessing.
I gained a bit of power today that hurt a lot… Stuff that I’d never have wanted to know… I wish I didn’t…
But then I always knew… I always suspected…
I hate the fact that I can be very intuitive, but then never do anything for fear that I’m just being arrogant, or taking things too seriously.
I hate the fact that I give power to people and then they hurt me. So I live my life constantly guarded … knowing that as strong as I am, I can feel pain, and so I choose not to feel anything.
Monday and Tuesday made me realize that I’m as human as everyone else… I can feel fear and panic. But picking myself up and realizing that it was time to man up, both gladdened and depressed me at the same time…
Rationality is something I’ve been given in excess, but even with all that rationality, there are still so many chinks in my armor… Some days I go from feeling like shit…worse than nothing, to knowing that I’m beyond the scope of many, to detesting myself for being so damn cocky and egotistical…

And the gates come crashing down.

I’m going to sleep

Posted from WordPress for Android

About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

3 responses to “Midnight Musings

  • GranmaLuwiesCloset

    I like d way u depict urself (last/2nd to d last post ) & ur emotions….
    Every1 goes thru this…at lst I do. we v trust issues but man is meant to be a social being, so like it or not we v to share a certain part of ourselves…&risk being betrayed&ds hapns more often dan not….sigh* we beat ourselves up, get over it & do d same stupid tn al over again…&call it experience… Rnt we a deluded lot? …

  • Ayob Alariwo

    i can totally relate to dis… Thnks 4 sharing dis n not making me think i was running MAD..or weird

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