Sometimes, when I listen to a song over and over, a particular bit from the lyrics just decides to make itself at home in my mind and refuses to leave. Recently, it’s been “close your eyes to what you can’t imagine”, from Frank Ocean’s “Super Rich Kids”. In the last couple of days, I’ve found myself saying those eight words over and over again. Imagine rolling outta bed on a hot afternoon and the first words out of your mouth are:
“Close your eyes to what you can’t imagine.”
So, since I’d started sounding like a scratched CD at some local Mr. Biggs spot, I started thinking about the words I’d been repeating to myself.
Human beings shut out the things they don’t understand. As I’ve gotten older (I’m just 19 *InsertGrin*), I’ve started learning things that I’m not even sure I would have wanted to know if I had been given a choice; some of these things have hurt me so very much, have stripped me of delusions that I would give anything to still have… some of these things have filled me with fear. So these days, when something happens and I have no idea what it’s about, and I try to figure it out only a little bit, and I don’t get it, I simply shut it out. Some would say it’s a good thing; I’m saving myself from unnecessary headache… true. But what happens when the very thing I’m shutting out because I don’t understand it, is something of my own creation; something that I’m doing? What happens when I actually need to face whatever it is and tell myself the truth?
The truth, like they say, is pretty hard to swallow. Sometimes it’s much easier to wallow in self deceit than to admit defeat. It’s amazing to see the feats we go through to protect ourselves from accepting that our ideas and beliefs are obsolete or even worse, that they never existed as truth in the first place. That first face you once wanted to wake up to, that voice with which you wanted to sit by the bedside and put on your makeup to. The dreams you experienced in Technicolor; now turned to grayscale nightmares taking root from the deepest pit you filled with your life’s fears.
We fear what we don’t understand. On the other hand, we simply close it out. Close our mouths from asking questions, don’t think about what could happen if we did this or went that other way. Another day spent avoiding mirrors and looking glasses, looking for ways out in every day that passes.
Why ask questions? The margin for error is minute, you couldn’t be wrong about yourself. Let your mind put the truth on mute, close the doors to unwanted possibilities. View only the things we want to see in high def; stay blind and deaf, even when the stark reality stares us in the face, black and white, blowing it’s whistle like a naked referee.
We close our eyes to what we can’t imagine.
I know this post may seem disjointed and may not even make that much sense. I started writing and just let things come out the way I was feeling them. I don’t even know why I’m explaining myself…
If you wanna listen to Frank Ocean’s “Super Rich Kids”, here’s a link