[To & Fro | Mattafix]
“I’m still a true gent; never bitter, never twisted. Only optimistic, about the main statistic”
#DaySeven: My Opinion on Infidelity
It’s funny how, when I say I’ve never been unfaithful to a girlfriend, people laugh. I actually know someone who wanted to set me up with some girl that she was sure would be able to break me, just because she thought I was being proud and shit.
In truth, the fact that I’ve never been unfaithful in a relationship is due to a good number of reasons; some of which include the fact that a good lot of the times, when the opportunity presented itself, I got lucky. I’m not cocky enough to imagine that it was always because I’ve got self control, because mehn… e no dey easy all the time. There’s also the fact that I try as much as possible to sabotage any chances as early as possible. Ergo, when I’m in a relationship and I meet a really hot babe, I’m going to say something that contains the words “my girlfriend” as soon as possible. Just so that I’m putting it out there sharp sharp. I’ve also had only four actual “girlfriends” in my time so… maybe it’s not such a high number and saying “I’ve never cheated” when it’s only been four is a little too much.
I don’t approve of infidelity. Maybe because I’m slightly possessive. I like to keep what’s mine, mine. I think, that a relationship is not something you simply jump in to, and if you don’t think you can handle it without cheating, don’t get into it.
I’ve been on the receiving end of infidelity though. I went through different phases; I was numb at first. Maybe I couldn’t believe it, or maybe I did but couldn’t come to terms with it. My mind needed to process the fact that it had happened. And then a couple of days after, when I’d processed it, I felt the pain. Whenever I’m really hurt about something, I go through psychosomatics; and this was bad. It hurt so much, I didn’t know what to do. And then there was anger. “How could she do this?” All those random thoughts went through me. But I know, without a doubt, that the worst thing was when I felt… like it was my fault, like I was insufficient. Like if I had shown her exactly how much I cared about her, or if the sex had been good enough, or… something! If I had done something more… she wouldn’t have cheated on me. I’d never felt more worthless in my entire life.
If that’s how I felt, I can basically extrapolate, that a lot of people who get cheated on feel the same way.
So, what’s my opinion on infidelity? That’s very simple: No.
It’s more than “if you love the person”. It’s also about respect. It’s also about being considerate. I know a lot of people say that cheating is as a result of some unfulfilled need… something the person desires the partner isn’t bringing… and I say, if that’s the case, tell the partner. If you try to say it, and (s)he doesn’t fix up, leave. Don’t cheat. It’s so very painful.
This is a sore spot for me, so I’ll let it end on this bit.
I know I’m cutting it close with this post. I honestly forgot till just now…