Challenging Myself: Day Eleven

[Back to Black | Amy Winehouse]

Every time I listen to Amy, I remember the day she died. I was in this hostel in Unilag, doing some work (not ashewo work K), and I was listening to her albums. I remember I was telling my flatmate that it would be amazing if she and Adele could do a tune together. And then I got home and heard she’d died. A small part of me felt like I’d killed her by listening to her music that day. Now, I listen to this song, and it reminds me so very much of Adele’s “Best for Last”, but in a more… somber way… I dunno…

[Lost Without You | Robin Thicke]

Day11: My Current (lack of a) Relationship

So this post is meant to be about my current relationship, or about how single life is… I haven’t been in a relationship in about a year, and it’s been… well… I don’t even know how exactly to describe how it’s been.

I’ve gone through a few… noncommittal flings with different people, and I’ve also been through some quasi-serious affairs where I had an actual “The Lover”, but never anyone who would take the official role of “girlfriend”.

[You Know I’m No Good | Amy Winehouse]

I’m not exactly sure why it’s been like this… okay, I’m lying. I do know. It’s because I’ve been an emotional kamikaze and not many people would’ve been able to manage my madness. After my last relationship, trusting women kinda became something I’ve been a little unable to manage, so I just go day to day. And then, in recent times, I’ve just been… I don’t know…

 [Apologize | One Republic]

We both have issues to address, but with no label to place on our relationship, where do we mail our complaints to?” J. Wesley

It’s funny how those words describe things that’ve been said to me in the last year. My… inability to be in a serious relationship was what caused me to write “[Not] Yours Truly”, and one or two posts after that. But still, here I am.

[Arms Around Your Love | Chris Cornell]

Being single isn’t so much fun. I mean, it’s nice to not have to deal with the neurosis of relationships and all that, and it’s even more fun to be able to do what you want (discretely of course) without being worried that you’ll hurt feelings, but the novelty of it wears out. On days when you’re alone and you want to talk to someone but there’s nobody special enough to share your thoughts with, on days when your friends all have their girlfriends with them, and you’re the only one sitting alone, on days when you simply want to call one person and know that she considers you the most important person in her world, on days when you just want to know you’re not alone… being single isn’t so much fun.

[Sometimes You Make Me Smile | Floetry]

But… well… will I decide to get in a relationship anytime soon? I dunno… I’m not ruling out the possibility. I can’t lie and say there’s nobody at all that interests me but… *shrug*

Come, this blog challenge is getting very personal oh… do I want to keep posting here? Hian.

Day eleven done; g’night guys.

-Panda-

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

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