Challenging Myself: Day Twelve

I’m probably typing this in my sleep; I’m so tired… *sigh* some music should make me feel better.

[Home | Daughtry]

Today was one of those days when I felt like just saying, “f*** it all”, and going home. Tired, overworked and feeling unappreciated… those are things that just shouldn’t mix, no matter what. I’m learning a lot of things in my office. And unfortunately, one of those things is how you shouldn’t treat people who work under you (“underlings”, as I like to say). I just hope that as my career gets bigger, I’ll have learned from the mistakes I’ve seen being made, and make myself a better boss. One of the worst things to ever happen is to see a mistake being made, forget, and then make the same damn mistake a few years down the road. It’s quite messed up.

[Call Me When You Get This | Corinne Bailey Rae]

#DayTwelve: Things I want to say to an ex

*chuckles*… now isn’t this a touchy subject? I don’t know how I’m meant to do this when I know this is being read quite publicly. However, as I keep saying, it’s my blog, and my challenge, so I can choose to interpret it however I want, ne c’est pas? So, seeing as it says “to an ex”, and not any one ex in particular, I’m going to say a few things. But it could be to any of them, or it could be all, or only one. *shrug*


[You Know My Name | Chris Cornell]

Made by a case of mistaken identity, you and I came to be. I came to see that there was no way we could work. You were way too… about you. All the selflessness I possessed would never have been enough. So we ended; even though it wasn’t how I would’ve wanted it. But of course, it was never ever about what I wanted, now was it?

I wish I could smear correcting fluid over the page of my soul where our relationship is written. Or put one of those “^” things in between the part of my heart where you signed your name so I could change it up and it would read “xxxx was ‘never’ here”.

I still don’t see how we worked things out for so many years. Endoderm… effervescent… we seemed so dissimilar but yet, we found attraction in the funniest places. Smiley faces and long conversations. Kissing lessons and amazing make-out sessions. Music, poetry, lovers, love for two lifetimes. Like a rich red wine your taste is still on my tongue and when I think about you sometimes I still remember the smile you reserved just for me whenever we listened to our favorite song, but this love is long over.

[Love Poem | Amir Sulaiman]

I’m probably still the best thing that ever happened to you. It should have never ended. We worked out our differences and you asked for my heart. I placed it trustingly in your hand with all the confidence of a camel on sand but… I was a fool. I should’ve never trusted you. So, I learned my lesson in heartbreak high school and graduated with honors. It’s my honor to say I healed; despite the pain. And hey… I keep stepping.


Ugh… this is hard work jare. I could go on but it’s drawing up way too much emotion to keep at it. I’m going to sleep.

Day twelve done! G’night!


About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

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