Challenging Myself: Day Twenty Three

“She asked, ‘where is the truth hidden?’ I laughed, not because she asked, but because as I’m living, I’m learning that the truth is hidden everywhere; literally everywhere. There is no place you can scour, search or visit except the truth is in it. The truth is hidden even in the question ‘where is the truth hidden?’ In truth, the truth isn’t hidden; it is the true and living. The ones that’re trying to hide the truth try to convince me and you that they hid it, but they didn’t. It is not that the truth isn’t being spoken, rather we may not be ready to listen.” – Amir Sulaiman

Very few statements have resonated within my consciousness as deeply as Amir’s words up there have.

[Color | Seal]

The weekend’s been going quite well I must say. I’m learning a few things about myself; more to the point, I’m learning things about myself that are true. That I’m not as… innocent as I like to believe I am, and sometimes, the “I’m not doing anything wrong” mindset I put to myself is simply a bullshit way of making it easy to sleep well at night.

But then, it’s rather difficult to tell yourself the truth. It’s even more difficult to totally accept the truth, even when you’re the one telling yourself.

[Can’t Explain | Jill Scott]

Day Twenty Three: Something I Always Think “What If…” About

Hian, I feel like I’m starting to repeat myself on this now.

But then, I think “what if…” about a lot of things…

I remember this movie I saw once, where this guy found out that his world was a computer simulation made by some high tech godlike somebody. This wasn’t like The Matrix or anything, where they had real bodies but their minds were trapped in anything; they just simply didn’t exist in reality. But their reality was real to them. And at the end of the movie, it turned out that the person that made their “dimension” found out that his world was also a simulated dimension made by another being bigger than him. For a long time after that, the idea was stuck in my head; what if we’re simply living for the amusement of some twisted being who made us strictly for his/her amusement?

[Ne Me Quitte Pas | Nina Simone]

I think this was where my questions about God and his existence started taking a slight dive; because my mind couldn’t really wrap itself around all these questions of existentialism and all that stuff. But well, I’m finding my way sha…

Something else I think about sometimes would have to be; what if the chicken had never crossed the damn road? I mean really, that annoying chicken has caused so many problems for humanity. Pointless questions, dead jokes, arguments, ridiculous theories about alien abductions and ninja chicken clans chasing innocent chickens from their villages on one side of the road and forcing it to cross the road and create a new settlement… you get the point, don’t you?

[Slow Dancing in a Burning Room | John Mayer]

What if my walls could talk? What would they say about me whenever I turned my back? Would they laugh with each other about all the dumb shit I do in-between them? What if my bed could speak out? Would it complain and tell me I’m too heavy to be lying down on it?

What if I never get to do all the things I want to do in life? What if, by some weird, freaky draw of fate, my life ended tomorrow? Would life simply just go on amongst the living? What if Adam had never listened to Eve? What if Sheep had never come to the Big City? What if Cinderella had never lost that glass slipper?

*chuckle*… I could go on all night.

But I’ve gotta get myself ready for church tomorrow.

Day Twenty Three done. G’night y’all.


About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

One response to “Challenging Myself: Day Twenty Three

  • 0latoxic

    “…sometimes, the “I’m not doing anything wrong” mindset I put to myself is simply a bullshit way of making it easy to sleep well at night.”

    I just felt like highlighting that. Because I agree, to a large extent.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: