Challenging Myself: Day Twenty Four

[How Great is our God | Seventh Day Slumber]

*sigh*

My internet has been screwed up since Sunday afternoon. I’ve actually been writing these posts everyday, but I’ve been unable to post them. So I’ll probably put all three missing posts up today.

This challenge is almost finished sha… got an email from my would-be-editor… all I have to say is, if I accept his challenge, things are going to be… insane. Speaking about challenges, my flatmates and I started a 30day challenge this morning; no alcohol, smoking, or sex for the next thirty days. The next month is going to be very interesting. I’m hoping my flatmate is going to be able to quit smoking completely at the end of the thirty days. May we dey watch dey go. *chuckle*

[Get You Open | The Ambassador]

Day 24: Things I want to say to 5 People

It was a bit hard to choose five people alone who I’d like to say stuff to, but well, it had to be done. I’ve decided that I’m not going to put their names in the post. If they read and can identify themselves in my words, cool.

So…

You are the first love of my life; the reason I’ve come this far and the reason I keep going. Making you happy is a long term goal that I try to fulfill every day. Your name on my hand is a sign to show how much you mean to me. And I hope there’ll always be a time I can call and tell you I love you.

In times of fear and darkness you shone hope into my dreary soul. You told me what I needed to hear and never refused to give me strength and courage whenever I needed you near. Your faith and belief have kept me going a long time, and I hope I can always be there for you, as you’ve been there for me, till we’re both old and gray.

I know you haven’t been the best, but you’ve always tried. And regardless of everything that I’ve gone through because of you, I’m still proud to have been a part of you. You’ve taught me to be strong, and responsible, passed on to me a will of fire that I pray will never go out. And for this, I’ll always love you.

Time and chance brought us together; connected us in that way which we don’t even understand sometimes. What exists is great as is. Do I think the bracket should be expanded? Why? Is it even worth it? We don’t even understand each other. I hope we can. What do I want? Nothing… yet, everything. My unspecific nature may be trying at times, but hey, maybe you’ll be able to handle it. And if you can’t, I guess we’ll chalk it up to losses faced in the game we play.

You were right. Some days, I feel like this was a shit deal I got. But then, I think about it, and I realize we’ve created something phenomenal. We’ll be connected forever, even on days when I feel like killing you for something trivial, even when you step on my toes and bruise my ego. I don’t see us going anywhere anymore; too much between us differs, and I’m not willing to open myself up in that way. Not without some certainty, which you obviously can’t give me. So we’ll move on, and love what we have; which, honestly, is the best we’ll ever have.

*sigh*

Too much emotion.

Day Twenty Four done.

-Panda-

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About The Capoeira Panda

Panda makes his home in the world of words and metaphors. In the hopes to be more than just a confused blogger, he currently works as the editor for an ecommerce company that was good enough to hire him, and lives with his flat mates & two imaginary dogs who get along just fine. He enjoys reading good books, writing, relaxing with his friends, & poking fun at his mother over the phone. When he's not doing any of these, he sometimes sits back and wonders why anyone expects to learn anything useful about him by reading this bio. View all posts by The Capoeira Panda

3 responses to “Challenging Myself: Day Twenty Four

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