Anyways, reading it reminded me that I wrote something of that nature about eighteen months ago. I was in love, in a long distance relationship and… ah well, lemme not tell the story. Read for yourself.
I Miss You
What does it mean to miss something you’ve never had?
The morning after my eyes close & my soul wakes up,
I look beside me to the empty bed space & the pillow on which your head has never rested
As we both have never lain there together.
Slowly awakening from a night of yet untested passion
And I realize that the longing desire I once felt to be with you has become a deep need which now feeds my…o what the hell, this oyinbo is too much jor…
I miss you.
After the the connection of our souls which is forged through the fusion of our finger tips to the keypads of our phones is broken, and we stop chatting for a little while…I miss you.
Yes, I miss you.
And I know. They say you can’t miss something you’ve never had, can you?
Well then tie me up amidst these circumstances, because I’d gladly be madly entrenched in the abnormality of having the ability to be crazy about you, from this far away.
I’d long stay awake to earn the right to sleep really late into the day and dream about you.
Dreams fuelled by sound. The multicolor ink of your voice in which a brush called amazing has been dipped in, to paint behind my eyes, a vivid mental picture full of sense & words.
Your presence abounds in my consciousness, till my thoughts of you display in High Definition.
All inhibitions I possess incinerated by flames of interest fanned by the hands of your strong and flexible mind.
A mind possessed by a body so seemingly beautiful that I have inhaled the curves at your waist & the strength of your back.
I’ve looked down the lines I’ve tracked down your back with lips that have never kissed you, and it transforms desire into a need so deep, my longings transcend mere ideas of what you seem to me, and become actual knowing.
… And I miss you.
I miss never watching the shine in the dark skin of your neck stretched as you tilt your head back in a fit of laughter.
I miss the never before felt feeling of your arms, wrapping instinctively around my waist as we walk through places our feet have never stepped into side by side.
I miss making a midnight snack of the fudge cake you haven’t yet learned to bake because you know it’s my favorite.
I miss tapping my toes impatiently as I go, “Cherie, we’re going to be late! How much make up does a woman as beautiful as you need to wear anyways? Oya let’s go o!”
I miss walking with your hand intertwined in mine into places we’ve never been.
I miss waking and kissing you through the smell of your morning breath which I’ve gratefully never had the displeasure of smelling.
I miss running a finger softly across cheeks so soft, but yet still untouched, as I comfort you & wipe the tears from your eyes as you cry over something sweet & equally meaningless….you pretty little cry-baby.
I miss watching you gesticulate while you speak, as you animate your words, giving life to the point you try to pass along so confidently.
I miss the feel of your perfect teeth sinking into my skin as you bite deeper into my neck, deeper than you’ve never done before; your legs wrapping around my waist as never before having had the pleasure, while our bodies converse in the language of poetry. Bits of explosive silence all around us, interjected by sharp moans of surprise brought about by deep thrusts of expression that only our bodies can claim an understanding of.
I miss the arguments we’re sure to have, and the way you’ll try to squeeze up your face & try to be serious, & tickling you until you stop frowning & laugh with pleasure so rich that it rings in my ears & resounds in my heart.
So yes, call me crazy, but my soul has connected on a higher echelon, and seen into the future…till the point where, even though I’ve never met you, never inhaled the perfume you spray right behind your left earlobe or felt the nibble of your teeth on mine, never tasted the fruit of your ripe lips….never basked in the sexiness of your embrace…
Even if I haven’t, I have in my mind… and that’s where it matters. If I can’t have you yet; I’ll take what I can get. But…
I miss you.