“I got chased by a chicken this morning.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
He looked up at her with a slight smile.
“I said, I got chased by a chicken this morning.” he said to her again.
She cleared her throat. “Care to tell me why?”
“Well I was stumbling down my street this morning, and I bumbled through her & her babies in a haze of super-strong coffee attempting to overshadow the lasting effects of last night’s super-strong weed, unwittingly deciding to test what would happen if I scooped one of those squalling babies up with my foot.”
She looked bemused.
“And how exactly does this qualify as being ‘something different about you this morning’?”
“Well, for one thing, my perception is quite different from what it used to be.” Her eyebrow raised slightly. “I’ve finally understood that thing my father always said about testing a mad man’s lack of a family by throwing a stone at him in the market.”
“And for another, as I’m sure you’ve finally noticed, I’m still slightly baked this morning. Between me and you, some of the best weed in Lagos can be found in Ikeja.”
“And why are you sharing this info with me?”
“Because you were wondering why my eyes were slightly red when I sat down, and the edges of your cheeks wrinkled when I mentioned weed, & again when I said I was still high. You haven’t gotten baked in a minute and you’re probably wondering who my supplier is.”
“It’s a beneficial and somewhat annoying characteristic.”
“But that isn’t why we’re here, is it?”
“No, it isn’t, but I’m a nice guy.” He looked in her eyes and smiled again. “I hate to see a friend in need and not share some help.”
Her eyebrow raised. “We’re friends now?”
“I don’t see why not, do you? We will have some sort of… Working relationship pretty soon. We may as well get the formalities out of the way and all.”
Her face straightened. “You sound so sure.” He smiled, and his look became slightly distant. “That’s the point; I’m not sure. I’m barely afloat on a sea without shore. But if you’d seen what I’d saw, you’d certainly know that certainty without flaw is often a delusion and no certainty at all.”
“By my favorite poet, Amir Sulaiman.”
“I like poetry. Is that what you were playing on your iPod before you sat down?”
“What else do you have on your iPod?”
“I’m sorry, I only share my playlists with my friends.”
“So why won’t you share it with me?”
“Well less than five breaths ago, you weren’t sure if we were friends. Unless of course, you’ve made up your mind and we actually are going to be… friends.”
This time she gave him a little smile.
“And if I had made up my mind, why do you think it should be you?”
He gave her his own smile. “Well, in the words of the great Mr. Carter, ‘Fuck with me, you know I’ve got it.'”
“A bit of arrogance?”
“Another of my beneficial but somewhat annoying characteristics.”
“And how would it be beneficial to me?”
“Feigned humility is for the weak and pretentious. You’re in no mood for either. Neither am I.”
She chuckled as she glanced at her watch. “Interesting… but, we’re out of time. It was good to meet you. Thanks for coming over.
He got up. “And you. We’ll meet again?”
She looked down. “I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough. Could you ask the next person to come in?”
He walks out, back straight like a dancer with a high held head. Although the slight stumble gave him away, she couldn’t help but smile as she ticked his application with her green pen and ushered the next candidate in for the interview. She hadn’t even gotten round to asking him any actual questions. He’d probably be a bad influence on her if they were in the same building… But ah well.
She wondered to herself, who his supplier was.
So, I’m sitting and waiting for an interview at the moment. I was on the bus this morning, and I started thinking about how it would be to have this sorta conversation at an interview…
Remember, honest and beneficial criticism only.
Oh, and wish me luck.